Is This Reality

Deep Down I Love It When You Hate Me

Tour ended about a week ago and since I was broke Austin was kind enough to fly my little girl out here. Her name is Charlotte Rosanne James but I call her Charlie. She is asleep right now and I'm making her me and Austin breakfast. He decided to stay last night just in case I needed anything. I was thankful for that too. I was scrambling the eggs at the moment. I had the bacon already ready and pancakes done too. I heard heavy footsteps and in no time did it take me to figure out that it is Austin. He slept with me and Charlie because she wanted him too. I gave me a slight hug and grabbed a glass and poured some orange juice into it. 

"She is such a trip I swear" he said as he sipped his juice. I smiled as I finished the eggs and put everything on three separate plates and poured orange juice for me and her. I set them on the table and stepped away to chill out for a second. "You know she is going to love it here. She has so many people and she has the best aunts in the world okay? Your ever need anything do not hesitate to let any of us know okay? We all want you both to be as happy as possible" he said and gave me a hug.  I heard little footsteps  trotting down the hallway and a sleepy curly redhead rubbed her eyes and sat down at the table. I smiled and went to hug her and she returned the favor. "Good morning princesses"I said as I kissed the top of her head.  We all sat down and devoured our food.  I washed the dishes and picked her up and rested her on my hip. 

"So what do you wanna do today Charlie" I asked and she grinned and had that mischievous smile on her face.  "Hmm.  How about the zoo.  Oh oh and Awan and Auwstie can come" She said and I put her down as I went to my room where Austin was getting dressed and went to ask him.  "Hey she wants me and you and Alan to go to the Zoo today.  You up for it" I asked and he nodded as he tapped away on his phone.  My curiosity got the better of me and I grabbed his phone from him and read the messages.  They were to a girl.  He told her he couldn't hang out today because he was busy. "Did you have a date today or something" I asked and he nodded his head with guilt. I tossed his phone to him and sat on my bed as I went through my phone. "Why aren't  you going then" I spat out and I don't  know why. I mean yeah it bothered me a little. But why? It's not like I ha e a thing for him.  I love his best friend.  Yeah we have done stuff but it didn't mean anything. "Why are you getting so shitty" he spat back. I got up and turned towards him.  I studied him for a second. The way his hair is a complete mess when he wakes up in the morning. The way his eyes seem extra big and dark brown sometimes. His eyes crinkle at the ends when he smiles big.  The way he snorts when he laughs.  The way he is so caring about the ones he loves. No.  No. No. No

I texted Alan told him the plans for today and he said he would be here in five minutes. I walked up to Austin and gave him a hug.  He wrapped his log arms around me and we stood like that for a while before I pulled away and he kissed me in the forehead. His lips lingered there for a bit before I pulled away completely. I went to my closet and grabbed a gray sweatshirt and a white Calvin Klein bra and put on some white skinny jeans with holes in the knees and my black hi tip vans. I put my dark brown hair up in a bun and put my glasses on. I grabbed some clothes and called Charlie in here and helped her change.  There was a ring at the doorbell and I told Austin to change her while I got the door.

I answered the door and there stood Alan. God I missed him so much. He kissed me long and gently. After I pulled away he came in and I was kind of stunned to be honest.  Austin and Charlie came out and she attacked Alan in a big hug. He picked her up and spun her around. I grabbed the keys from the counter and my purse. "Everyone ready" I called out and got a handful of yeses and we headed out the door. She hasn't seen Alan for a couple of days so he sat in the back with her while Austin sat up front with me and insisted on driving. I got in the passenger seat and shut the door.  I put in Sleeping With Sirens album Feel and Deja Vu came on. I was about to change it because she was in the car but Austin put his hand over the radio so I couldnt as he smiled while keeping his eyes on the road.  I laughed and put my hand down as we all started singing to it. Subconsciously Austin grabbed my hand as he was driving and turned his head really quick and smiled at me. I smiled back and kissed his cheek. I totally forgot Alan was in the car until he cleared his throat and me and Austin untangled our hands and it instantly became weird in the car. He was playing in the back with Charlie and watching us because I could feel his eyes burning into me and I could tell that he and I were going to get in a big fight later.

The zoo was so fun and we all put Charlie to bed and I was dressed in a slipknot cut-off and some spandex now. Alan wanted to talk outside and honestly I'm kind of nervous. I walked outside where he stood with a cigarette in between his lips. "What's so important that I had to come outside for" I said because I could not take the silence any longer.  "Yeah what's going on between you and Austin" he asked with a bitter tone. I knew he was going to ask about this. "Nothing" I said and his face got red and that's when I knew he was pissed off. "bullshit" he yelled "there is something going o  between you two. He held your hand and kissed your cheek. That's not something that you just do!" My blood was boiling right now. "One, there is nothing going on between me and Austin and two,  what's it any of your business" I yelled right back.  "That's my best friend that's why" he returned.  "There is nothing going on between us and there never will be okay! Last time I recall you didn't think about that before fucking my so called best friend so I don't wanna hear it! You are pathetic if you think I would stoop that low like you did" I yelled right back and that shut him up for a minute. He threw his cigarette our and turned around so his back was to me as I heard him sniffle. I turned him around and his eyes were red and puffy which means he is crying. I pulled him into a hug and the poor thing just let it out. I felt so bad but I was confused as to why he was crying. "Alan what's wrong" I said as I slightly pulled him away to see his poor face.

"I miss you so much and I fucked up so bad that I won't ever get you back. It just sucks that Austin treats you better than I ever did. I just want you and only you. Your all I want and it took me a long time to figure that out. Please. Please give me another chance. I swear I will never find another you and I-Iove you" he spilled his heart out to me. I felt the tears coming and one slipped down my cheek much to my dismay.  I didn't know what to say. I found it hard to speak right then. My mouth became dry as I looked into his eyes. Like the first date we went on. I got so nervous that my mouth went dry and I was kind of shaking. "Alan. I-I love you too" I admitted as I threw my arms around him and pressed my lips against his. To my pleasure he kissed me back. It felt like the first time. His lips pressed against mine for what felt like eternity. He pulled away and smiled as he said "So does this mean" he asked and I breathed "yes" as I pulled back to me.

*Trigger waring if you don't like sexual content*
We made our way inside without our lips detaching. We made it to my room I closed the door and locked it as we landed on the bed. He took my shirt off and threw it to the ground as I did the same to him. His hands roamed my torso and felt around on my breasts. I unbuttoned his pants and threw those to the floor and he did the same to me. He flipped us over so he was on top of me. He leaned up and smirked at me. I knew what he was doing. "You wanna play dirty" I said and he shrugged. I got up from the bed and made my way to the door. He ran up behind me and pinned me up against the back of the door. His hands roamed my body as his hands slipped into my underwear and his fingers slipped into me as I moaned against his lips. We landed on the bed and I tore his boxer briefs off and he tore my underwear off. He tore my bra off as he slipped inside of me. I have to say it was amazing and log over due. My nails dug into his back and I left hickeys in the shape of a heart on his chest. After we were done we watched 500 days of summer and we both soon fell asleep.
*Sexual content over. Those of you uncomfortable may being reading again*

I have to say that night was the best. I did miss him so much and tonight proved it. I am honestly so happy that I am with him again. Oh and just in case you are concerned Austin took Charlie to his place.

A/N: so here is an update for you guys. Two in one week!? I WAS BORED AND FEELING INSPIRATIONAL OKAY!? Sorry about the sexual stuff my dudes I just decided to spice it up a bit. Read, vote, comment and enjoy!!