Is This Reality

Two Months In The Cover Creases

I guess you could say that I've changed. In a good or a bad way,  that's up to you. I am back at work now. I performed the other day for my friend Diana. She was sick so I covered for her. She is in the band Cover You Up. It was awesome. The rush I got when I was performing was amazing. Now I know why Austin does it.

As for me and Alan we are no longer together. It was for for the best according to him. So I kinda just gave up and let him win. He isn't ready for a relationship. He wants to have fun and live his life. We broke up a couple days ago. I can raise our kid on my own I guess. Oh yeah. I haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant. Two weeks. The only person that knows is my sister. Austin is coming over today so I can tell him. I'm really scared though.

Knocking at the door. That must be him. I opened the door and he looked so happy to see me. I laughed and motioned for him to come in. I went and made some tea and sat back down on the couch.

"So thank you for coming. Before we start working on something there is something I wanna tell you" I nervously said as I looked away. Since me and Alan haven't been together anymore, Austin and my sister are my best friends. I stood up and went to go get the tests and came back to the living room. I handed it to him and quietly watched his reaction.  His smile got even bigger as his eyes got super wide. He put it down and picked me up and spun me around. "This is amazing. I'm so proud of you"  he said as he put me down and kissed my cheek. I blushed and smiled. Why am I blushing? I never really liked him before. Why now?

"Sorry" he mumbled. I didn't know what to do so I kissed his cheek back and said "it's okay. I was just surprised. Your my best friend. I didn't really expect that"  I confessed. I lifted up my shirt and observed my stomach. I now have a little human growing inside of me. But how am I gonna tell Alan?

"Austin. What am I gonna go do about Alan? How am I going to tell him? What if he doesn't want anything to do with it?" I frantically asked. I was so nervous but as always Austin reassured me that everything would be fine. I smiled and kissed his cheek before calling Alan to come over. Sure enough he came and I was so fucking nervous I was biting my nails. "Hey  Alan" I said barely above a whisper. He looked up at me from his phone and rolled his eyes. "What is so important that I had to drop everything and come to you" he said with a rude tone that pissed me off. I walked toward him and stopped so my face was inches from his. "Well my fucking bad that I drug you away from your precious plans. I think our child is a little more important that that slut you've been fucking" I spat. His eyes grew wide and his mouth was agape. "Wait y-your p-pregnant" he asked clearly stunned. I rolled my eyes and nodded. He sat down and ran his hand over his face. "I wanted to tell you sooner but I was afraid you would freak out like this" I said and he put his head in his hands. " I can't be the father of that child. There has to be someone else. I can't" he whispered. "Alan I'm freaking out too but you are the father of this child whether you like it or not. Are you gonna be in it's life" I asked because that's all I cared about. He nodded and I gave him a hug. "We will figure this out okay? I promise" I said and for the next hours that's all we talked about. He finally left and me and Austin were left in the apartment all alone. I never used to be nervous around him but now I don't know.

I sat down on the couch and started scrolling through my Instagram so I could avoid the silence that was beginning to form. "So I was wondering um I want to stay with you tonight. Just to make sure your okay. Is that cool" he asked and I mumbled a yeah as I went through Alan's profile. So many pictures of that dirty slut on his Instagram and I just wanted to beat her ass in the ground. One picture caught my eye. Him and her were at a party. The date was the night he didn't come home and told me he was at Austin's. I turned towards him with fury. "You fucking knew about this and you didn't tell me?" I shouted and showed him the picture. Realization crossed his face as he stepped toward me and had a guilty look on his face. "Look I didn't know that you two were together still. He told me that you guys were broken up okay. I didn't know" He said and that made it even worse. I started crying out of anger and then threw my phone at the wall. My fingers ran through my hair as I cried. He picked up my phone and set it down before coming over and holding me. I pounded on his chest and begged him to let me go but he wouldn't budge. I finally gave up and cried even more on him. He kissed the side of my head and told me that everything would be okay as I cried and cried. "Hey look at me" he started as he lifted up my chin and made me look at him. "You are amazing and the best girl I know. If he fucked up that's on him because any guy would be lucky to have you. Your beautiful, smart, and so talented. You are going to find a great guy and be an amazing mother to this child. I know you are gonna do great things. So wipe those tears off that gorgeous of yours and smile that beautiful smile for me" he said and I smiled for him because he makes me happy. It felt like eternity that we were just staring into each others eyes. Before I could pull away he kissed me. I hesitated at first but I kissed him back. This kiss wasn't like anything I've felt before. It was filled with passion and hunger and bundle of other emotions. The kiss deepened and we took it to my bedroom and he laid me down and started kissing my neck, my cheeks, all over he kissed me, even my stomach. I smiled and kissed his neck as things got heavier. 

I can't believe that I had sex again with Austin. This time though, I didn't feel one pang of regret.