Is This Reality

One Step Closer To The Edge

Trying to calm my clients down sometimes isn't easy. Some like to squirm. Some like to scream. Some never shut up. Some walk off for thirty minutes before finally coming in and finishing it. Sometimes it's exhausting but you learn to deal with it if you love it enough. Sometimes I get aggravated but most of the time I just deal with it. The reason I'm telling you this is because I'm tattooing a sixteen year old. She wanted an infinity sign on her wrist because all her friends had one. When I was sixteen I was nothing like her. I was selling drugs and getting into fights at school. Trying to keep my sister safe and my mom happy. I wish I could have been like that.

She was my last client and today I got a day off from Charlie. I didn't want it but Alan and Austin insisted. So she is hanging out with the band today. Me and max and some other friends are gonna hangout today after work. She thanked me and stuff before paying for it and walking out. I got up and went to go get my stuff and head to my car to wait for max. I plugged in my phone and hit play on a random song. One Step Closer by Linkin Park.

"This song is the shit" max said as he shit my car door. I screamed and jumped five feet in the air. He laughed at me as I punched him in the arm. "Dick" I mumbled as I stated the car. I backed about and made my way out of the parking lot and onto the road. He pulled a bag of green substance out of his pocket and a bowl as I was driving. He packed the bowl and fished for his lighter. He lit it and took a hit as he handed it to me. I put one hand on the wheel as he lit it for me and I sucked in with my finger on the smallness hole on the side and let my finger go as I sucked in and blew out the access smoke. We smoked on the way to my place.

When we got to my place we went inside and I ordered takeout. It was about eight and I was still stoned so I went to change. I just put on some running shorts and a long sleeved black Of Mice and Men shirt. I put some socks on and put my hair in a ponytail and put my glasses on. The doorbell rang and I walked out as max was paying for the takeout. Soon after that some of our friends from the shop came inside.

"what's up guys" Justin said as he sat down on the couch. Alex came in next and sat on the recliner with Jessica beside him. I got some beers out of my fridge and gave one to everybody. For a while we all just smoked and drank. Talking about this and that until all eyes were on me. "How are you and Alan" Alex asked. He was generally concerned I know he was. But I told max that I wasn't going to take him back. I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my head. I smiled and said that we were fine as I avoided Max's stare. "I'll be right back guys"  I said as I got up hoping Max would follow me. When I got to my room he shut the door behind me. You could feel the tension. "You told me you would not take him back. You told me you would find someone else. Why would you go back to that egotistical asshole.  All he did was suck the life out of you" he yelled. I turned to face him and his face was so red and his eyed held anger. I backed up a little bit and locked eyes with him. I don't know what it was but he was calming down as he chewed on his black lip ring.

"I know I told you I wouldn't take him back but it's not that easy. He has changed. I can tell. He is a better boyfriend now then he ever was. Please don't be mad" I pleaded and he came over and hugged me. "Im not mad. I just don't want to see him hurt you anymore" he said and I smiled at how much he cared about me. He gave me a hug and grabbed my sides and I giggled. He attacked me with tickles and I collapsed on the floor with laughter. "Your dead" I said as I got up and chased him out around the apartment. Laughing the whole time I finally caught him in the hallway and pinned him on the ground. "Boom. I won" I said as I got off of him. The front door opened and Alan and Charlie walked in. She ran into my arms and I picked her up and spun her around. I rested her on my hip and kissed her cheek. "So how was time with Alan" I asked and she smiled real big. "It was great. I went to their band practice and we got ice cream and went and saw a movie. The next day we we went to the park. It was so much fun. Did you have fun" she asked and I nodded as I put her down. Someone pounded on the front door. I walked over and opened it as a very drunk Austin stumbles inside and collapsed on the couch. "Hey sweetie how about you go in your room and play okay"  I said and she nodded and went to her room. I went over to Austin and leaned his body up so he was sitting up.

"You know you look so beautiful.  I wish I could have you but I can't. Alan is one lucky guy babe" he slurred as he kissed my cheek. I blushed and I don't know why. I got up and came back with some advice and some water. He took it and slouched with a sad expression on his face. Max and Alan were in the other room. Austin pulled me down on his lap. He wrapped his arms around my waist and his face was so close to mine. His eyes were searching mine for something that I didn't know. At that moment everything stopped. But I wasn't going to let it get any father. I can't. Im with Alan. I love Alan. I don't love Austin the same way. I tried to get up but he wouldn't let me. "Austin what are you doing" I asked. "You can't tell me that you don't feel something for me. I know you do. Tell me you do" he pleaded. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I can't tell him because I don't even know myself. "Austin. I do. But I'm with Alan and I love him. I'm sorry" I said as I saw someone come out of the hallway. I got up and it was Alan.

"Where are you going" I asked as he grabbed his keys and walked out the door. I followed him outside and grabbed his arm. "Why are you leaving" I yelled and he turned around to face me with anger and hurt in his eyes. "Why do you have to always be all over some guy. I ask myself that question a lot" he said and I wanted to cry right then. "You have no fucking right to say that" I said as I shoved him. He stumbled back with shock. I was shaking so bad from anger. "I am not you. I don't let guys fondle with me whether they want even tho I have a boyfriend. I am faithful to you. What you saw was me comforting Austin because he is drunk and upset Alan. If we want to talk about cheating then let's bring them all up. The countless time you hurt me. You are a piece of shit Alan. I don't know why I took you back " I said as tears fell from my eyes. "You can't hold those against me. That's in the fucking past. Move on. I have changed. You know how many girls wanted me and I gave them up for you because I love you" he said an I cut him off. "So now it's about how many girls want you"  I said angrily and he said " I'm trying okay. I'm fucking trying" as tears fell from his eyes onto his cheeks. I hugged him tight and we both just cries on each other. For a while we just stood there holding each other. I knew we were mean't to be together as cliche as that sounds. Even though we fight a lot and break up we always find our way back to each other. I can't imagine what I would do if he left me.

We went back inside and I covered Austin up with a blanket as he was the only one left here besides Max. I went to go check on Charlie and her and Max were asleep together in her bed. "Alan look at them" I said as he turned his head. We both smiled and made our way back to my room. I know I say things like I wish he would leave me and I'm miserable with him but truth be told I would loose my mind if I didn't have him.

A/N: Hey guys!!! So this is kind of a filler chapter for you all. I am running out of ideas so anybody that enjoys this story and wants me to continue it please feel free to inbox me or comment!!! Love all of you!!!