Is This Reality

Here In The Southtown You Know That Kids Don't Play

I've never really gotten to be a kid. You know where you play in the dirt and not have a care in the world. I always had to take care of my sister. When I was a teenager didn't get to be one. I was making sure that my sister was taken care of and selling drugs with my mom. I was in the game with my mom whether I liked it or not.

*Flashback*
Driving to the north side is pretty tricky. Judgemental people that are shitty as fuck. Not near as many cops as the Southside though. Pulling up to a McDonald's parking lot I spot the white Mustang and park beside it. Knocking on my window the guy is too eager to get what he wants. I roll down the window as I get the two grams of weed out of my backpack. He gave me forty dollars and I gave him the weed. We exchanged thank yous and I made my way back home. Getting out of the car I saw another car that looked familiar. My mom's clients that were here for me. I walked in the door and handed my mom the money as I put my backpack down and asked my mom where my sister was. "She is at Baileys. Go and make him happy. Oh and make it freaky. He payed extra" she sloppily said. I went and walked up the stairs with the tall tattooed man following me. I hated doing this but I have no choice.
*Flashback over*

I'm glad I don't have to do that kind of shit anymore.  I can finally be free and happy. I can take care of Charlie and me and Alan can be happy. Speaking of Charlie she is at school right now. It's like I've taken the role of her mom on. I don't party ever. That's Alan's thing now. I don't get high. I don't really hang out with my friends anymore. I cater to her every need. Every thing she needs I get for her. It's nothing new though. I've never really been able to live. To say I've never been happier describes everything. In thirty minutes we gave to go pick her up from school. We decided were all gonna get Ice cream. So I put my shoes on and go to my room and grin as I stand in the door way. Alan is sleeping on my side of the bed. His ginger hair a mess and his mouth slightly agape as his breathing lightens. I walk over and sit down. I push his hair out of his face and kiss his cheek to wake him up.

"Baby we gotta go get Charlie " I whispered and his eyes fluttered open as he sat up. I smiled and kissed him. He pulled me down so I was on top of him and kissed me back. As it deepened I remembered that we had to go get Charlie in five minutes. I ran with Alan behind me to get my keys and hopped in the car and started it. We headed on our way and we finally got there. She hopped in the back seat and was all smiles.

"How was school" I asked as I headed out of the parking lot and into the streets.

"Good. I missed you so much" she said and suddenly I heard her scream and I swerved and a truck slammed into my side. Glass and blood went flying everywhere as I screamed. Our car flipped and landed upside down. I screamed Alan's name and thank God he was alive and okay. "Charlie" I screamed over and over but got no response. I tried to undo my seat belt and look at her but had no luck. "Alan is she okay" I screamed and he didn't respond as he looked at me. Sirens were heard and there were people pulling us out of the car. Once I was on my feet I went and searched for Charlie but instead fond a small little red headed girl with blood on her body. I screamed and held her limp body in mine as tears streamed down my cheeks. One of the police officers asked me to put her down. I screamed and refused and Alan came and pulled me off of her and wrapped his arms around me as I punched his chest and begged him to let go as I cried on his chest. She can't be dead. Those are the thoughts that ran through my head as I kept having a fit. From then it was a blur and I don't remember much. I saw them carry her body and put it in a body bag. Me and Alan were taken into the ambulance to be checked out. He just came out with bruises. I had a broken arm and my knee was messed up now too. I had five broken ribs and a punctured lung. I didn't care what was wrong with me because I failed. I failed her. Staring blankly at the ground I looked up and there was the women that hit us. Alan had ahold of my good arm and told me to keep my calm. If looks could kill he would be dead and so would she because in that moment I wanted to rip her fucking head off. She is the reason this happened. It should've been her not Charlie.

"Alan let me go" I growled and he wouldn't budge. I rolled my eyes and sat there scowling.

About two hours later after the hospital visit we could go home. I was under strict no moving orders. I had a cast and sling for my arm and a brace for my knee. I have medicine I have to take for all the pain and healing process. Which was fine with me because I don't feel like doing anything. I don't wanna do anything. I don't wanna feel anything. Because the one thing I was supposed to care for one thing. One thing  was put in my responsibility and I fucked it up.

A/N:so I know you guys hate me but it will be worth it. I love all of you