Is This Reality

Next Time Imma Stay Asleep

This time it didn't hurt as bad as last time. Sure enough all of his stuff was gone when I got there. He didn't touch the baby's rooms which is good.

You know that feeling when you just know in your gut something is wrong. Well I had that feeling that Alan was doing something stupid and as if on queue my phone rang. Me and Austin put them in their crib. Both of them were fast asleep so I answered it and went to my room to change.

"You know what I don't get Marylin?" He slurred from the other end of the line. I hate it when he calls and he's drunk.

"Alan go to sleep your drunk" I pleaded cause I didn't really wanna hear what he said. I wanna just go to bed.

"Why do I love you so much. But you don't love me anymore. You love Austin now. I wasn't there for you and he was. Now he gets to be with you like I wanted too. M best friend and my ex girlfriend. Damn that hurts" he slurred through the line. I rolled my eyes at his assumtions and arrogance.

"One were not a thing so don't go assuming shit. Were just friends. He helps me out with the kids now and through my entire pregnancy when you were too busy or too good to be around your girlfriend. So I don't wanna hear the pity party from you okay?" I hung up the phone and threw it across the room. My head in my hands I started crying. I don't know why he's like this. I have no idea what I did to him to deserve this. As of on cue my bedroom door opened and Austin is leaning against the doorway. A sad smile on his face he looks at me. I give him a half assed smile and I wiped my tears.
"You know he isn't worth your tears. He's my best friend and I do love him but you deserve so much better. I know you have two kids together and it's hard but you deserve someone son much better than him. I can't stand to see you cry over him anymore. It hurts me to see you cry over him" Austin said and came over to me and sat down next to me.

I smiled at him and more tears started to flow. He held me as they streamed down my cheeks. It hurts so bad but I guess we all have to let go sometime. I just don't know if I can let go.

"I can't let go Austin. I love him so much" I sobbed.

"shh shh it's okay" he said and I was quiet. I stopped crying and just listened to the faint sound of Austin's heartbeat. My eyelids were feeling pretty heavy so I let them take control and fell asleep in Austin's arms for the fifth time this week.