Is This Reality

Loose Lips Sink Ships So I'll Keep Silent

I'm running fast and hard to get away from something but I don't know what. Its a man I'm running from. I keep running until I hit a dead end. I try to find a way out but the walls close in on me. Someone is coming towards me as I crouch on on the ground. He comes into view and its Alan. He pulls me up violently and pushes me hard against the wall. His once kind eyes were now dark and cold. I was scared as his fist came towards my face and I screamed and hit the floor.

"Hey Marylin!"

I woke up with sweat littering across my body and Austin and Alan staring at me with worried eyes.

"Hey what happened" Austin asked.

"I just had a nightmare. You can go back to bed. Don't worry about me guys" I said and Austin gave me a hug before walking back to his bunk.

"What happened in your dream" Alan asked as he climbed in and pulled me close. "It was about you. You were closing in on me and you hit me. You hit me Alan. Your eyes were so cold. There was no trace of emotion and I was so scared"I said as my voice broke. I felt tears drop onto Alan's chest and his arms got tighter around me and he kissed the top of my head. "I won't ever hurt you and I won't let anyone hurt you. Not even yourself. I promise" he said and lifted my tear stained makeup smeared face and kissed my forehead.  I cuddled really close to him and laid my head down on his chest. My breathing slowed as my eyes became heavy and I drifted off to sleep without any nightmares.

I woke up to Alan laying beside me still. I looked up at his face ad he was wide awake string at me. "Why are you staring at me" I groggily asked.  "Your just so beautiful that it's hard not to stare and your adorable when you sleep" he said and laughed quietly to himself. "Well I don't feel like getting up" I said and he rolled out of my bunk and dragged me with him. He picked me up and sat me down next to Austin and got a cup of coffee for me. Alan smiled and I frowned. "Its not a good morning. Its too early" I said and I heard a knock on the door. I was confused and then I saw the short blonde hair With a black flat bill on backwards and a black lip ring. Its max and I missed him so much. I ran and attacked him in a hug. "What are you doing here" I said as we both let go. "I wanted to come to warped tour anyways and the shop was lonely without you in it" he said and I smiled so big my checks could have broke. I dragged him on the couch and sat him down before sitting down. "So tell me all about the warped life" he said and we talked for about an hour. I missed him so much. All the guys were going our for breakfast and I decided to stay behind. Alan kissed my cheek and told me bye before he left.

"So are you two like a thing or what" Max asked with a grin. I rolled my eyes and play punched him. It's complicated" I said as I got up and stretched. I motioned for him to follow me as I went to my bunk to get a change of clothes for the day. " why is it complicated" he said and I sighed loudly. "He's a rockstar. He cares about me and all but he really fucked up. We were a thing and a lot of stuff went down and we decided to start over" I said as I grabbed some clothes. I undressed and he looked away because he knows how I am. I put on a gray and white t shirt and tied it I to a knot in the front. I put on some back skinny jeans that had holes everywhere and my white converse. I put in my diamond Medusa piercing and then my Of Mice gauges. I put my glasses on and tied my hair up in a bun. I posed and Max laughed at me and posed with me. We finally made our way outside and just went to see random bands that either he wanted to see or I haven't seen yet. I honestly had so much fun that day. Of Mice were about to play so I showed the security guards my pass and said Max was with me. I stood side stage with him while they were all getting ready to go on stage. I gave them all hugs as they were getting ready. "Good luck guys" I said enthusiastically. Alan gave me a kiss on the cheek and I blushed a bit. "Time to go boys!" there manager said and i smiled and told them good luck. " So what all happened between you and Alan" maxed asked me our of curiosity whole we were watching them perform. "He would flirt with me at the beginning of the tour. Then go hook up with girls. Make me jealous then apologize. It's been going on for a few weeks. He eventually apologized and we started over" I explained. He nodded his head with understanding and smiled a bit. " I'm glad you guys are working things out. He really feels something for you, you know. I can tell" he said and their set was done so they all ran off stage and gave me sweaty hugs. "So Marylin, uh, I was wondering if you would like to uh, go on a date with me tonight" Alan asked awkwardly as he rubbed the back of his neck. I smiled at his awkwardness. He wasn't awkward with other girls but me and it was so cute. "Of course Alan. Its about time you ask me" I played and he rolled his eyes playfully. "Okay we will leave at 8. Oh and don't get too formal" he said and winked at me before walking away. My checks were blushing so bad and Austin and Max were reading me about it. "Stop" I whined and covered my face. "But its so cute" Max said. "See if this is cute" I said and dead​ legged the closest one to me which happened to be Austin so I took off in a full on sprint. I ran all the way to our bus and to the back lounge with him right behind me. I tried to lock the door but he was too quick and slipped in before I tried to close it. I tripped on my own feet and fell on the ground. He got on top of me and started tickling me. "Austin s-stop" I laughed. "What's the magic word"he said and I was thinking. Hmmm. "I love you Austin Carlile forever and ever now get off of me" I said and he smiled and got off of me. I got up and plopped down on the couch. "So you and Alan huh" he asked. "Yeah but we are just going on a date but what if we start dating again. Will he mess things up again. Or will I this time" I said with panic. He smiled a put his hands on my shoulders so I'd look at him. "Alan does want to be with you. He knows you need time. He poured his heart out to me about you. He told me even though he hasn't known you that long he feels like he has his whole life. He thinks he loves you and it scares him. Just give him another chance. I'm not saying right now. But he is trying. He won't fuck it up this time" he said with reassurance and it made me feel a lot better. Alan thinks he loves me?

I texted my sister and told her about what happened today and about the date and she texted back that she would be here soon. Soon enough there was a knock at the bus door and my sister ran in. She hugged Max and then me. "So what are you gonna wear" she asked. I shrugged my shoulders and both her and Max sighed before pulling me to my bunk and getting my clothes out. They choose a white cropped sweater and some black high waisted black skinny jeans with holes in the knees and some white vans. I put a watch on and threw my hair up in a bun. I just put on some mascara and a little bit if foundation on. I heard the boys come in and I went to walk out there when my sister stopped me. "You aren't going anywhere missy" she said as I stood there putting my Medusa diamond piercing in. "Why" I asked. "Because its not 8 yet" she said and I went back into the bathroom while she went out there to keep them distracted. I looked in the mirror and put my glasses on and looked at my reflection.

Sometimes I hated the way I looked. The tiny freckles that you can barely see on my tanned face. My mouth and smile. Why can't I have good cheekbones and have a good jaw structure with a fit body and a gorgeous smile. "You look beautiful you know" I heard Max say behind me. I smile and turn around to face him. Thank you Max. Really. I was so worried that I would look awful" I said laughing lightly. He smiled as I looked at my phone and realized it was eight o'clock. He and my sister dragged me out to the front lounge where the rest of the boys were at and the Pierce dudes. Alan looked me up and down which made me so self conscious. "You look beautiful" he said and I blushed so hard and said thank you. "You be good to her Ashby. Or I will end you" Mike said to him and Alan nodded and led me out the bus door. We started walking in a direction.

"So where are we going" I said curiously. I really wanna know. "You will find out soon enough my pretty lady" he said as he kissed my hand. We walked to a deserted park and it was now dark out and there were stars littering the night sky. I looked up in awe at the sky and its beauty. I brought my head back down and there was a picnic basket with a blanket underneath it spread out on the grass. He sat me down and then sat across from me. I smiled at the thought. He pulled out some food and some drinks for us. This was beyond great. He has gotten everything perfect. He has been a total gentlemen all day and he put up the perfect date. We fell into easy conversation while we finished our food and drinks. It was really a great time. After we finished everything we laid down and watched the stars. His arm went around me and pulled me close. My head was resting on his chest as the silence consumed us. "I'm sorry" he said quietly which left me confused. "Why" I asked as I lifted my head up to face him. His kind brown eyes were looking down on me and I couldn't tell what he was feeling. "For being a jackass to you" He gently kissed me and it felt like heaven. It wasn't hungry like it usually is. It was gentle and kind. I kissed back and the kiss got deeper as our tongues danced with each other. I climbed on top of him and he grabbed my hips lightly as my fingers played with his hair. My hips lightly grinded into his and he let out a soft moan as his hands roamed my body more and more. Luckily we were in a spot where no one would hear or see us and its dark out so if anything goes further they won't know. My hands went up his shirt as his hands pulled my shirt off. We were undressed soon enough in the park. Let me just tell you that was the best night I have ever had.