011 ~ A Mileven Fanfic

Chapter the Sixth

Mike's POV

"Get in. Now."

Max rolls her eyes and hops into the car, slamming the door behind her.

"So who knew?"

"Your girlfriend."

"And you didn't think to tell anyone else?"

"'Hey, Dustin! I starve myself because I have little to no self-esteem!' Yeah that would've gone over real well."

"How long has it been going on?"

"Freshmen year but it only started to get really bad when, you know, um, Billy..."

"Freshmen year? I mean, you're really skinny now, you have been losing a lot of weight but only since Billy. You didn't look anorexic before."

"Mike, you don't have to 'look anorexic' to be anorexic. You just have to have an extremely depressive attitude and the urge to kill yourself through malnutrition."

"So why?"

"Because why the fuck not Mike? I can't be happy with myself, maybe this will get me there. Look you can't put into words anorexia you just live by it. I have to lose weight. If I do I'll be loved and happy and if I don't, I'm a failure."

"Max we love you no matter what you look like."

"Do you though? Think about it, everyone in our friend group is attractive. Everyone. I'm just sick of being the ugly friend."

"What the fuck Max you're not the ugly friend. How could that possibly get into your head?"

"Look, can you just take me home? I don't want to talk about this."

I had called Max's mom after the meeting and offered to give Max a ride home when I heard the news. We needed to talk.

"Oh and don't tell anyone okay? I don't want them to worry about me." Max adds.

"Yeah you're in no position to make requests right now."

"Look Mike what do you want me to do? I can't just make this go away! Believe me, I would if I could. Do you know how much I miss the taste of food, how I crave to go to sleep at night with a full stomach, how I wish to go through a day without perpetually wanting to die? I don't want this but this is the hand I was dealt so I'm playing it. I hate it just as much as you do, probably more, but I can't fucking help it so take me home, don't tell anyone, and don't you try and get me to eat."

"Max..."

She turns in her seat to give me full on death glare. I grow quiet and we drive in silence the rest of the way home.

"So you kept a pretty big secret from me." I tell El as I walk into her house. She's making coffee and turns around.

"Hmm?"

"Max. Food. An eating disorder. Ring any bells?"

El drops the coffee and runs to me.

"Oh no I wanted to tell you so badly but she wouldn't let me. How bad did she make it seem?"

"Not that bad."

"Oh no Mike she's lying. She goes days without eating, she's having panic attacks regularly, remember when she went to the hospital for a concussion? Yeah it was really because of malnutrition. She's dying, Mike and I don't know what to do."

I stand for a moment in shock.

"Dying...?" I whisper.

"Her mom told me the doctors said if she keeps it up at the rate she's going...she won't make it the year."

Suddenly I feel like my whole world is caving in on myself. Max, my best friend, dying on her own accord. And she refuses to be saved.

"Well what should we do?" I ask El.

"I have no idea. She refuses help and if we told anyone else she would kill us or herself."

"We're going to her house."

"What Mike, no do you have a plan?" El asks, rushing after me as I grab my keys and coat.

"I'll wing it."

By the time we get to Max's house, El has nervously chewed off all of her fingernails and left a sweat stain on the leather of my car, even though it's December. I walk to her door and jiggle the knob. I'm not surprised when the door gives as they always forget to lock it. We slowly walk around the house, finding no one, until we go upstairs to see Max collapsed on her floor, crying her eyes out, clawing at her skin, bones sticking out throughout her shirt, an expression of utter despair etched over each and every one of her features.

And now I finally get what she was saying.

She doesn't want this. She just can't escape this.

Yeah I suck, I know, feel free to hate me at much as you want I've just been slammed with stuff.