Cancerous Love (Joji x Reader)

38.

After the warm shower I changed into a boring outfit and decided to go for a walk. I grabbed my bag and told Marie hat I'd return in a few hours. I walked down the street, just like I did in my dream. Everything was the same. I walked into the café grabbed myself a coffee and sat down on the table. I looked out and let my mind flow. Joji meant everything to me. My gaze wandered to the table where he sat. He gave me the feeling to be loved. But everything was just a lie from god I guess. After I finished my coffee I continued walking. The sun was already going down slowly. I arrived at the brooklyn bridge and sat down on the bench, where Joji handed me the cigarette. My stomach cramped together as I remembered how he told me that I was beautiful. Suddenly mixed emotions overcame my heart. Sadness, loneliness, furiousness. "This can't be." I whispered to myself, while digging my hands into my bag, searching for the cigarette. Joji gave it to me. I was completely sure he did. My breath got shorter and my eyes started filling up again. He did. I'm sure he did! I kept saying to myself, but deep inside I knew that I was just lying to myself.

I didn't want to walk home, so I just gave Marie a call, to pick me up. She arrived and for some reason she looked like she was ready to go out or something. "Are you going anywhere?" I asked and looked to the road. "Naaah." She said and smiled brightly. I didn't know what was going on, but I also wasn't interested in knowing it.

We arrived and walked upstairs. My head was hurting, and I wouldn't even mind to fall asleep for more 3 weeks. Before Marie opened the door she looked to me and smiled. The door opened and suddenly a lot of people with ballons jumped infront of the door. "SUPRISE." They screamed. I widened my eyes and didn't really know how to react. These people were strangers to me. But the fact that they wanted to suprise me was so sweet, that it put a smile on my face." Marie took my hand and pulled me in. Everybody gave me a hug and introduced themselves. A black guy came up to me. "Gurl." I looked up and he wrapped his arms around me. "I missed you so much." He said and looked into my eyes. Everything I could see was his poppin make up on his face. I looked at him suprised, wishing to be a pro just as him in make up. "Do you remember me?" I shook my head. He laid his hand on his chest dramatically and made a hurtful face. "It's okay honey. I'm Christian but you always called me Brown. You, Marie and I are best friends since highschool." I smiled. He was really sympathetic and he had something ratchet and sassy and I loved it so much. The music started playing louder and everyone started to dance. Y/n is back!" A dude in a red shirt shouted and came up to me. He gave me a really intense hug and I knitted my eyebrows. "How are you?" He asked and looked deep into my eyes. His eyes were in a warm brown tone and his hair was blonde. "How are you?" He asked again and got uncomfortably close to me. "I'm fine." I said quickly and stepped backwards. He raised his eyebrows. "You know I'm Andy." He said and laid his hands on my hips. "Do you remember me?" He asked afterwards. I shook my head. "We were dating before you got in a coma." My heart skipped a beat and I pushed his hands away from my hips. I quickly disappeared in the dancing crowd, trying to find Marie. The music was playing so loud that the floor was already vibrating. Finally I could find Marie. I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the table. "Who's Andy?" I asked and felt how mushy my legs got. Marie closed her eyes. "Why can't he just listen to me?" She asked angrily and exhaled loudly. I gave her a questioning look. "I told him not to touch you or tell you that you were dating first. I'm going to talk to him." She said and walked out of the room. I sat down on the bed. No I am not dating anyone else than Joji. Joji is the only one that owns my heart and myself. A tear rolled down my face. The thought, that I fell in love with someone that doesn't exist drove me crazy. I shook my head quickly. I walked out of the room and forced myself to smile. "Y/n we're going to get something from the gas station." A black haired girl said and pointed at Marie. I nodded and both walked out. I just stood next to the apartment front door and let my gaze wander all over the dancing people. Out of nowhere Christian came up to me and took my hands in his. "Come and dance." He nearly screamed, so I would understand him. Suddenly the door ringed and Christian opened it. He gave a sign to the 'Dj' to turn the volume down a little bit. I leaned my head on the wall and listened to their conversation. How can I help you?" Christian asked. First I thought it was Marie and the girl but probably not. "Yeah you can I was actually trying to have a chilling time..." The person started talking. "I just moved here today and I wanted to ask if you could turn the volume down." His voice was so familiar. Suddenly my eyes opened. This voice made my heart beat faster and my stomach fill up with butterflies. This deep voice made me forget everything wrong on this planet. "No honey our friend just woke up from a ..." Christian started talking and clapping his hands but before he could finish his sentence the person on the door did. "...coma?" He asked. This has to be... I quickly walked to the door next to Christian. My heart started beating faster. This black messy hair. These deep black bedroom eyes. As his gaze met mine he also widened his eyes. We both looked at each other speechless. After I blinked two times, to make sure that I wasn't dreaming my eyes filled up with tears. Tears of pure joy.

"Joji?"
"Y/n."

I jumped on him and wrapped my arms around him. His warm touch, his scent and his lips were exactly what I was searching for. I felt safe.

❤