Snowbaz one-shots (fluff and angst)

pretend

this is gonna be kinda sad i think idk it's an AU tho

also, i know i'm not the only one who canons ezra miller as baz, and i always imagine him with a lil bit short hair when they're younger (ie fifth year)

simons pov yall

~~~~~

It's the middle of the day. I'm in magical words class, i've always been such shit at it. Im sitting next to Penelope so I can copy her notes since I write too slowly to get them all down. I feel something boring into the back of my head, it's like someone has been staring at me for hours. I turn around to see who it is and find none other than Basilton Pitch sneering at me, but not with its usual fierceness. This year I manage to somehow get stuck living with him AND being in every single class with him, Crowley have have I survived to this point? But why was Baz staring at me? probably plotting against me or thinking of exactly how to pull off whatever insane mission the families have put him up to.

I turn back and look at him again, this time he's looking down at his notebook, not writing at all. He has a strong frown on his face and his eyebrows etched together, he's almost pouting. What? Basilton Grimm-Pitch? Pouting? Thats wrong, but cute. Wait, no he's not cute. He's evil. He's an evil vampire that is plotting against me and I can't stand him. He's not my handsome,gay roommate that I would gladly lose everything for. Nope.

Penny noticed that I was staring at Baz and elbowed my in the ribs, hard. "Hey loverboy pay attention" she muttered, only loud enough for me to hear. She's the only one who knows i'm not straight and she's luckily secretive enough that I don't have to worry about anyone finding out. On the other hand, Baz has been openly gay since second year; it really doesn't help the fact that I have a hopeless crush on him. I still keep trying to get that thought out of my head. The thought that I could actually have a chance with him, that is. I don't like to think about it. I don't like to think at all. The teacher then started asking questions and I did everything I could to avoid answering. 

"Mr. Pitch, what would you cast if you needed to get dirt off of your shoes?" it was such an easy question that even I knew it was "clean as a whistle" but all I heard was stammering coming from Baz. Well that's odd, really really odd. He didn't answer the question. He just said, well more like squeaked "I need to leave" before taking his books and sprinting out of the classroom.  The teacher looked at me "Would you like to go find your roommate, Mr.Snow?" it was less of a question and more of a command than she made it seem. I nodded and stood up, quite in shook. I looked at Penny and she nodded in affirmation then I ran out of the class to find Baz.

If i'm being honest it was hard to find him, he just ran down the hall. He was in a dark, empty classroom. I couldn't find him in there at first but I heard loud crying. I walked in the class and looked around. His tall figure was now curled into a ball in the corner.

I've never seen him like this before. I walk up to him slowly but he doesn't notice. His head is hanging between his knees and his hands are covering his face. Merlin, Baz is wracking sobs. I don't want him to get mad and scream at me so I don't really know what my best strategy is right now. I slowly lower myself so that i'm squatting down, almost sitting on my heels.

"Baz?" I whisper quietly, i'm afraid I might startle him. He gasps slightly "Go- Away- Snow" he heaves out between breaths. I don't make any move to leave, I just look at him. I move to be right in front of him, sitting on my legs. I reach towards him and push his face up by his chin. Baz doesn't even try to fight back. I grab his wrists and start to pry his hands away from his face. Once i'm successful I keep holding his hands 1) so he doesn't put them on his face again 2) because I want to hold his hands.

"Baz" I whisper again. "What do you want" I hear the miserable hoarseness of his voice. I think he has stopped crying now. "Baz, why did you leave class?" his head is dropped again, but I keep his hands in a firm grip. I shakes his head. "Baz, please" I try not to seem pushy.

"I can't do it" I'm surprised I even heard his words with how quiet his voice was. "You can't do what Baz?" I question, genuinely concerned. "This" he says "I can't do this anymore" he chokes on his words. [I swear if anyone make a dick joke] I lean closer to him so that my chest is touching his knees, and then he puts his legs down so they are crossed, indian style. I could've sworn he held onto my hands a bit tighter but I dismiss the thought. Hes looking at me now. His long hair a mess and tear tracks down his pale face. He studies my face as I study his.

"What do you mean, you can't do this anymore Baz?" I've never seen him like this. "I can't keep pretending" he's avoiding my eyes. I drop his hand with one of mine and reach up to make him look me in the eyes "Pretending what, Basil?" I'm trying to act like a stern parent now, I just need to know what's wrong. He blinks and tears start to escape again.

"Do you ever get that feeling that youre alone, even when you're surrounded by people?" He doesn't try to avoid my eyes when he says this. I nod. He nods. The corners of his mouth twitch up, he's trying to force a smile. With my hand that is still free, I wipe the tears off his cheek; He lets me. I don't move my hand from his face though, I let it rest; He lets me. I lean in a bit so our faces are closer; he lets me. "I know exactly how that feels" I tell him.

He glances at my lips when I talk, I glance at his whilst I talk. and then I close the space between our lips. Baz stiffens slightly, probably not entirely expecting it but then relaxes and put his free hand on my neck. I push him back, and he pushes back. My hand that isn't on his face moves from holding his hand to around his back. His hand that I was holding makes its way to my messy hair. He moves his legs so they are one on each side of me.

I lean into him, he leans back so that he's sitting against the wall. I'm glad I was careful or else he would've hit his head really hard. After a minute he starts to lean so that i'm falling back now. His grip on my neck and hair keeps me from falling as he eases us to the floor, him hovering above me. I have to lean up to keep our lips in contact but I don't care. Baz is straddling my waist and holding into me so I don't fall, but suddenly he pushes me back, breaking the kiss. I prop up on my elbows after I let my hands drop from his face. We are both trying to catch our breath.

"I uh" Baz begins to talk "I was tired of pretending that I didn't want this" the way he says it makes me sad. He says it like it's painful. "I wanted to tell you" he says "But I just- I didn't think you were gay. I heard you tell Bunce but I thought I heard wrong. I thought I was always going to have a hopeless crush on you and seeing you all day everyday didn't help me try to forget."  I lift my hand up and place it on the side of his face, he leans his face into my hand. I have to be careful since i'm holding myself up with only one are and i'm clumsy. 

I start to slip but Baz grabs my collar and pulls me up closer to him. I'm looking directly into his silky grey eyes "You don't need to pretend anymore" I whisper to him and lean my forehead on his. The bell rings and we suddenly remember that we had just been in class. We both collect our books and go to our dorm. What's the point of going back to class after that? there only one hour left in the day anyways;Latin. If I really need help with that Baz could teach whatever we missed, he's always ahead.

~~~~~

1.5k words ahhhhhhhhhhh yeah boi

did yall like it? i hope so because it's 2am it's the best i can do

lmao this idea actually started because i was trying to figure out if the line "DO you ever get that feeling that youre alone? even when youre surrounded by people" is in a movie.... its not that i know of but i made this out of it
Edit- ITS FROM STEVEN UNIVERSE