bumbling about

83

so story time!! get ready this is wild

so when i say i can't make this shit up i seriously mean i can't make this shit up

for starters, whenever i go out i only go out with my small group of friends who are mostly girls and i don't actually know that many boys so when i have a story about a boy take it word for word with no exaggeration bc honestly straight boys can just be sooo naive sometimes?? idk this story is about a straight boy who i used to know rlly well

i say straight boy bc thats important you'll see why later

lets call him...bob

after this you'll see why im never gonna snog a straight boy again

so i was at a nightclub called wrights and basically you go to either dance with your mates or try get attractive people to snog you and get their snapchat

so prior to this, bob had randomly sent me a rlly nice snapchat text being all like 'hey how are you long time no see' nd i was like naw thats cute i'll say hi back

then he started sending x's

idk how it works in other parts of the world but when you're not entirely with someone but you're sending x's to each other you're officially in the awkward stage of texting

me being me, meaning i am unable to be horrible to someone unless i rlly feel like they deserve it, i sent x's back

i know im such an idiot but bare with me

so anyways he said he was going to wrights and i was like omg me too cool and he was like maybe i'll see you there

then he said 'maybe something exciting will happen haha x' so i thought he was taking the piss

nope. he deeeeefinitely wasn't.

so at wrights his friend came up to me and was like 'woah!! bob rlly wants to snog u!! hes so excited bc u might end up being his first gf if u do!!'

i was torn. he'd never been with anyone and as his friend continued to tell me how excited he was for bob i continually grew more and more guilty bc i didnt want to snog bob at all

like hello soz i love girls oops

so when bob asked me i said sure fuck it its one snog who cares nothing will happen anyway

besides he was piiiissssss drunk so i didn't think he'd even remember

again, i was wrong. so very wrong.

so fast forward about a week, bob texts me the famous 'whatsup x'

this is famous bc that initiates the conversation, and how you respond determines whether you're texting or not

so i made sure to be kind of dry bc lord knows if you read my last story about a boy i was sure as hell never dodging a boy again

jfc

anyway, he kept trying to get me to be flirty but it just wasnt working

then, about a month ago, he texted me about something that i had put up on my snapchat story

we talked about wrights again and i said that i wasnt going and he said he was disappointed, but then i jokingly told him that i was with someone so he'd have been disappointed anyways

he was intrigued and asked me what his name was

i told him her name

(oh no!! queer girl used confuse on straight boy!! it was super effective!!)

he was like 'WTF UR LESBIAN WTH WHY DID YOU KISS ME THEN WHAT THE HELL' and i was like no bob dw i didn't use you i am in fact bisexual

then he said, deadly serious

'omg issy'

i replied

'omg what'

are you fucking ready for what he said next?

'thats soooooooooooo sexy'

WHAT

WHAT

WHAT

stop. just. gah.

i do not understand. i just.

i felt rlly uncomfortable so i said goodbye to bob and went on my merry queer way

-

sorry ik this seems aggressive to straight ppl its rlly not ik that there is a majority of great straight allies its just that sometimes ppl fall behind on the new age and they fall behind on accepting other and by him calling my sexy it made me feel v invalidated idk i cant explain it ok bye