Journal Entry
As I'm writing this, I'm still somewhat in shock. I've never been someone's girlfriend before, and I just want to make Janet happy. I want her to feel as special as I feel she is. To think, I went from being a complete stranger to her girlfriend is also like a fairy tale to me. From the kisses on my neck to her hands traveling to places I'm normally
against being touched. It's like, I want more but I don't want to seem so eager. My body is just doing things I can't explain and my emotions are just so high. At night, my mind seems to always be on Janet. And I can't explain these heavy sensations. What is going on with me? I''m falling in love.
All because of Janet's charm, her wits and her gentle touch. I'm falling so hard and I can't explain how I feel now that things are official between us.
But even as happy as I am, there's still the fact of my family's reaction to my love interest. I can't just keep this swept under the rug or hidden like an outfit or lipgloss. Janet is a person, and she's not a big secret. She's mine now. And I've been thinking so heavily about our relationship. I can't keep my family in the dark about my sexuality. I don't wanna have to hide my affection for Janet in public and kiss her in private like I'm not proud of her. Janet is my baby now and it wouldn't be fair to her. Even though she says she understands, I refuse to have her on the back burner. I've made my decision and came to the realization that I like women. That...I am a lesbian. I don't find myself attracted to men, thinking of men and nothing of that nature. I know it's not the way I was raised but I can't help what I'm attracted to. I can't force myself to be something I'm obviously not. It's something about the company of a beautiful woman that drives me insane. And the fact that I'm beginning a relationship with the ideal young woman is a blessing. So I have to be honest with my family, her and most importantly,myself.
When Janet and I get just a bit further in our relationship, I'm gonna tell my family. I don't care what anyone thinks about it nor does it even matter. What matter is that Janet cares for me and wants me for who I am.... a preacher's daughter with a big heart and even bigger dreams. And you know what? That's alright with me.
•Toni•
Few days later.
I had jogged downstairs from my room and plop down on the couch as I grab the phone and called Janet. I was trying to spend as much time with her as possible before she left for Minneapolis. After a few rings, Janet's mother answered the phone
"Hello Mrs. Jackson, is Janet there?"
"Hello Toni and yes she is, how are you?"
"I'm doing wonderful thanks for asking and how about yourself?"
"That's good sweetie and I'm doing good as well, Here's Janet."
I smiled to myself as I heard Janet's slight chuckle as she grabbed the phone. I thought it was so cute.
"Hey you, I was hoping you'd call."
"Hey my love, I was calling to see if you were busy."
'Noo...I was just helping my mother with dinner, but I'm free after that."
"Well, everyone's out of the house and I wanted to hang out with you today. Can you come over?"
"Sure, I just have to clean up and I'm on my way."
"Okay babe, see you soon and drive safe." I said and then we hung up. I was planning to take Janet on a little date. I knew she liked different and intimate type ideas when going out so I had us signed up for a clay pottery class. I knew she would like it and it would something we did together. After a few minutes, I heard a knock and jogged to the door, Janet smiled and hugged me.
YOU ARE READING
Always and Forever
Roman d'amourFrom the moment they first laid eyes on each other, little did they know that they were going to be happily married with four children years later. This love wasn't on purpose, it just happened. They started as friends, and eventually became lovers...
