Youtubers We Love. [A Landon Austin Fanfic]

Chapter Fifty: The Baby...

[Landon's POV]

A few weeks passed and Erika was released from the hospital. She got her memory back and everything seemed to be normal, until yesterday. She woke up without morning sickness, and the baby didn't kick at all.... The same thing happened today, and we immediately scheduled an appointment with our obstetrician. Dr. Pattan was quick to bring us in, considering what had happened a few weeks back.

[Erika's POV] 

Dr. Pattan: Okay, so no morning sickness, and not kicks?

Erika: Yes... Please just tell us our baby is okay!!

Landon pulled me into a tight hug from behind, rubbing my tummy. 

Dr. Pattan: Well, the ultrasound will tell us that, alright? You know the drill...

I sighed, lifting my shirt up, laying on the bed. Landon held my hand as Dr. Pattan started up the machine. "Ready?" he asked, putting the transducer above my belly. I nodded, and he put it on, rubbing around. A nervous look grew on his face, and that worried me terribly. He moved it around quicker, and rubbed every part of my stomach, and finally I realized why he was worried. There was no heart beat. I squeezed Landon's hand so tight, I was worried I might brake his hand. He rubbed it with his thumb softly, knowing what had me so worried. Dr. Pattan sighed and turned off the machine. He looked at me, and I immediately started crying. He wiped the gel off my stomach, and I crawled into Landon's lap, crying into his chest. He held me tightly, and I felt a few of his tears hit my forehead.

Dr. Pattan: Erika.... Landon... I've very sorry for your loss... I'll schedule you an appointment for a DNC...

I assumed he walked out of the room, but I couldn't tell. I was too caught up in my own crying that I didn't even look up. Suddenly, I felt something in my heart snap, and I just stopped crying. I just sat in Landon's lap emotionless. He rubbed my shoulder and looked down at me. "Erika, are you alright?" I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. I just kinda sat there cuddled up in him. He picked me up and carried me outside. He placed me in the passenger seat, then got himself in the drivers seat, driving us home. I just stared blankly out the window thinking maybe it's my fault... It is my fault... It's because I haven't eaten right, or when I fell in the ditch, or when I tried to leave Landon! It's my fault I lost our baby... Suddenly, every emotion came back to me, and I found myself crying again. He placed his hand reassuringly on my leg, but I just pushed him away. I was right before, whether he wanted to admit it or not. He put his hand back on the wheel, and pulled into our driveway. He got out, and went to carry me, but I shook my head, and pulled myself out of the car. I walked in, and ignored everyone who questioned me, went into my room, locked the door, and just sat down, looking at the crib and baby things that have accumulated in the room. 

"Erika, please let me in... It's my room too, yanno" Landon said with a very soft voice. I know he only wanted to talk to me and cheer me up, but I didn't want that. I just wanted to be alone. I pulled my shirt and pants off, searching for something more comfortable to wear. I heard the door open behind me, followed by and "I'm sorry" from Luke. I really didn't care how anybody saw me anymore. Naked, fully clothed, no make-up, I could honestly care less. I finally decided to just wear some of Landon's sweatpants and one of his shirts. I layed on the bed and just stared up and the ceiling. 

"Erika, I know this is a really hard time for you, but it's not your fault."  He sat on the bed, rubbing my shoulder. I pushed his hand off of me, and rolled over. "I'm only trying to help you, baby." he said, now rubbing my back. Baby... Wow, terrible timing. "You can help by leaving me a lone for a while, Landon. I just wanna be alone... " I said, trying not to cry anymore. He just simply got up, and walked away. I don't want to say I was upset that he just left like that, more like surprised. It usually takes him a while to leave me alone, but this was a big thing, and maybe it was better off that he left.

[Landon's POV]

I walked out the door, and plopped myself down on the couch. "She thinks it's only hard on her." I muttered to Luke, who joined me on the couch. He looked at me questioningly, "What's hard?" Fuck Luke, couldn't you have guessed?! I sighed, and sat sideways, facing Luke. 

"We lost our baby, Luke." He gasped in shock, and his face changed to one full of sympathy. "But she thinks it's only hard on her, like the baby wasn't mine too." I growled. God, sometimes I wish others would take my feelings into account for once, instead of using me as a tissue. Luke just looked at me puzzled, then hugged me. "Landon, she's carrying the baby. It's physically a part of her. I realize it's hard on you, but imagine how much worse it'd be if you were carrying the baby." I pulled myself out of the hug, and walked out of the room. Erika had the bright idea of wanting to be alone, so I just walked outside to the backyard, staring up at the bright and sunny day. I guess one of the kittens got out, because I felt a slight weight on my chest. A white kitten with splatters of grey on it as falling asleep on my lap. Malachi. I looked at him and smiled, petting him softly. "At least I still have my furry babies." 

_____________________________________________________________________________

HOLY CRAP, AN UPDATE!! Sorry for the suuuuper long wait, but it's here now! Forgive me!!!