In My Head

A Look Through My Eyes

I don really know where I'm going with my life especially since I've tried to end it several times but this is a poem told through my eyes. The ups and downs of my daily struggles told to you through my perception as twisted as it is. Here's me. 

Tears stream down my face. What have I done.

I have become a disgrace. Better hide under my lies.

My life is in front of me

who am I supposed to be

If I told them the truth

I would be exiled from my group 

so I hide who I am Inside

there's this boy whom I love

more than anything in this entire world

he tries to understand

but I push him away

I hurt myself by pushing him away

he comes back says he cares tries to figure out whats wrong

depression is rising up again

I fight this battle every single day

If I win i stay but if I lose then I'm dead

this is the deadly battle and has depression won.

will i end up taking my own life?

I screwed up

i can't give up

he needs me to live

my friends see me breaking down and they catch me when I fall

they wont let me fail

or let me give up

they know that I can make it

if I only try

but how can I learn to breathe

if my lungs fail to listen 

and my life fails to thrive

I need to fight to survive

My life is hell

and I fight back

so much to lose but

whose to say I haven't already lost

and this is it

this is what I feel every day

will it be my last

or is it the begining i fall down

but i get up off the ground

I'm not giving up so fast

I have a chance