Versions Of Her (Currently Editing)

⭐Chapter 9: What do you mean?⭐

❇EDITED❇

It has been a week, since he kissed me. A week, since he said he'll invariably want to... see me.

Now where is he?

Why didn't he come by?

At least come by for one second, type your number in my phone and say you will text me. Perhaps if he came by every day, I would get tired of him and find it a lot easier to be mean... to push him away.

But now all I desire to do is to feel him near me, maybe it's something that won't stick. Maybe wanting to know if he's still interested would wipe the illusion of me, possibly being in love with him... away from where the feelings grew.

Are my thoughts even making sense? Am I capable of speaking logic without him near me? Is it better this way? I'm forgetting how hard it was to have him so close to me.

My anxiety, saying it isn't right if he only wants me, and only me. Yelling at me, like do you think it's worth it to have me making so many trips to the centre of your universe, just to save you... from nothing, and something?

That is what he brings, I need to remember that, I need to do something with my day and stop my thoughts from racing after him.

At least not having to deal with him, won't make me question... everyday of my life, if he means what he said... and what is yet to leave his lips.

***

Instead of doing something with my day that doesn't regard him like I said I would, I'm now in his apartment. He came by wanting to verbalise... something, that he wouldn't make known to me unless I followed him.

He gets in first, leaving the door open for me to make my way in. Whilst he shoves the stool underneath the table of his tucked away work area, on the right of me.

The short hallway feels like we are inside of a white box, three steps until you are welcomed in by the living space. The hallway is too circumscribed for the both of us, I feel less claustrophobic as I sit down low on his sofa.

I don't bother to take in the rest of his apartment, because he seems as though he has something big on his mind. Both hands in his pocket as he looks down at his shoe.

I get up, not knowing what it is I'm about to do... it has to be anything that has nothing to do with sitting here. Feeling so intimidated since the seating is low.

"I'm sorry,"

I angle my head to the side to get a view of his face. It's unlikely for him to be acting this vulnerable around me, giving that the last time he saw me... he had all the confidence in the macrocosm.

"What are you sorry for?"

My voice sounds calm, a little softer than usual. You could say I like him a great deal, and this made him look up at me. His whole demeanour changes, as he claims his hands out of his pocket, placing his keys on his small dining table to the side.

"You are so beautiful,"

I'm not so confident anymore, I back away and thankfully... he stopped me before I reverse into the coffee table.

I don't feel embarrassed because he's pretending like it didn't even take place. This is more than new to me, I should be freaking out, thinking what if he suddenly burst out laughing at my almost... maladroit moment.

"What do you mean?"

My eyebrows are probably knitted together.... Raised... looking at him longingly.

I likely looked like a puppy that reached for a bone that was then taken away from me.

I can't believe he's saying this, I don't want to believe... what if he was with some other girl and felt guilty? So he's trying to make up for it.

That was a stupid question Ann, what do you mean what does he mean? He meant exactly that, I think you meant to ask him if he meant it.

Shut up, I don't need you getting involved right now.

Oh my god... he's... he's about to take my hand in his.

Let's just hope you don't sneeze or cough.

I shouldn't have opened my-

He wet his lips before closing the distance.

Don't let him kiss you, get mad at him, he didn't speak to you for a week.

Hmm, you are right—he didn't.

I fake an upset face... yanking my hand from his and walking towards the door, but before I open it-

"You don't get to have your way like that Shawn, you... where were you... for a whole entire week?"

He's putting on a face of someone that is ashamed, and it is enough... until it isn't.

He didn't answer fast enough and I pull the handle down to open the door, but he comes to me whilst my back was facing him.

I slowly work around and he ease back a bit to give me some room.

"I thought you liked it better when we don't see each other,"

Is he serious right now? I'm getting even more fired up that he would try to ignore this— over something I said before he made me fall for him.

Almost, no.

"You shouldn't even be expecting things to be the same when you kissed me... and besides, you said,"

"I know what I said,"

His palm is flat on the door above my head, and all I want to do is kiss him... but I need to concentrate. His breathing is already getting out of control.

"Flup!"

He swears, banging one of his fists against the door.

  
-------❤------- Authors Note ------❤-------

Shawn? Are you okay boo?

What is your issue?!

Damn!

Anyways, thank you for reading.

Vote and comment if you liked this chapter.

🙏BreathTakingMind🙏