The Silent Boy [Boy/Boy] (Some characters from I Ran Away to Vegas...) - 2012

Chapter 8: Jaded

The Silent Boy [Boy/Boy]: Chapter 8: Jaded

Nate's POV

               My eyes were slowly slipping shut. I fought the tiredness but with nothing but AJ's rhythmic heartbeat filling the room, there was nothing to keep me awake. My mind erupted into the nightmares that constantly kept me awake at night. 

               I coward in a corner and away from him. My arm was throbbing against my chest from where he had grabbed it and there was nothing I could do to stop it. "I'm sorry Jesse." I sobbed, hoping he would forget about the plate I accidentally broke. 

"You're useless! I don't know why I even put up with you - do you know how alone you would be if it wasn't for me?!" 

I jumped up and threw my arms around his waist, ignoring the incessant pain that pulsed through my arm. "I'm sorry Jesse," I repeated, "I love you - I promise I'll try harder!" I cried as I pulled him closer to me. 

He chuckled and ran his hand over my head. "Calm down Nate. You know I love you but do you know how much I have to put up with?" He knelt down and pressed his lips to mine harshly. I moaned at the pressure exerted on my busted lip and I hurriedly blinked away my tears. It was my fault he hit me - I was a bad boyfriend and he had to show me my place - it was my entire fault. "No one would put up with you but me - do you know how much it would hurt me if you ever left?" 

"I promise I won't ever leave." I spoke suddenly, my voice thick with emotion. 

He ran his hand over my head again as he smiled. "That's a good boy - now clean up the fucken plate and start dinner. Mark and Alix are coming over tonight so you will need to get ready." He winked and encouraged me to hurry with a sharp swat on my butt. I let out a small yelp and reluctantly went to grab the broom. I hated when Mark and Alix came over - all it meant was pain for me. I had to wait on them and offer entertainment if they got bored. On a typical visit, they each fucked me - sometimes so hard that it left me bleeding and sore for days. Jesse said he didn't mind sharing and I should be proud that they wanted to fuck me because it meant I was cute. I didn't see it as cute. I saw it as a couple of horny perverts just looking for an easy fix. I always complied with their offers knowing Jesse would beat me if I didn't. They would dress me up and use things on me that a fifteen year old boy shouldn't know of.  

               I woke with a jolt, my hand warm in contrast to the rest of my body. My fingers were intertwined with AJ's and a soft smile was set on his pale face. I loved that smile and I would do almost anything to keep it there. 

"Hello Nate." I turned to see one of AJ's dads walking in. I couldn't quite remember his name, it was something Asian. I waved, not wanting to disrupt AJ by digging my notebook out of my backpack. "Have you been here all day?" I shook my head before locating the clock on the wall - it blinked four-thirty. His dad ran a hand down the side of his face, gently stirring him. AJ blinked a few times to steady his vision. "You can't sleep all day AJ - you have to eat sometime." He pulled a can wrapped in a simple white label out of a plastic bag and handed it to AJ. He took it and downed half of it. 

"Where's dad?" His voice was scratchy and forced, the trach tube whistling slightly. 

"He's at home with Alicia." AJ looked down as if he was ashamed. Sensing the tension that was building up, I released AJ's hand and stood. "Where are you going?" I pointed at the bathroom door and he nodded in acknowledgement. I closed the door behind me and pulled out the piece of paper that had been taped to his door. My blood ran cold just seeing the lettering. The writing style was all too familiar. I opened the note with trembling fingers as my mind raced with slurred memory that haunted me. Seven words were written on the page -'You said you would never leave me.' I quickly crumbled the note and threw it across the small room. Jesse was supposed to be in jail with no chance of parole for another couple of years. I wanted to cry but I couldn't give him that much power over me again. 

               I tensed as Kently shoved me against the wall, throwing his body weight against me as well. "Hey faggot." He laughed. I hated being at home especially since it made bullying all the easier for my half-brother. 

               I was tolerated by my family mainly since I was unwanted. I was the product of a rape and my mother never ceased to remind me of that. She tried to treat me no different than my siblings but the hatred was always there. She never smiled at me, never kissed me goodnight, and above everything else - she would never tell me she loved me. How could she when I was a mistake anyway - a form of blight. She kept me because she thought she could learn to adore me like any other mother would their newborn child but whenever she looked at me, all she would see is the face of her attacker. 

I fought against Kently but I was no match. His closed fist collided with my stomach and I doubled over instantly. The air was knocked from my lungs as he continued to kick me. It hurt but not as bad as Jesse. If I said or did something wrong he would beat me to the verge of consciousness and somehow always made me feel guilty for it. I continued to whimper silently after he left the room. I never spent much time at home and the only reason I was still here was because I had nowhere else to go. 

               I propped myself against the wall as my younger brother walked in. he offered me a smile and wiped a tear away with his chubby hand. "Don't cry." He was so young and innocent. He never understood why I was treated differently and in his eyes there was no reason for it. 

'I'm okay Scott.' I smiled for him as I scribbled. He was one that could always provoke a rare smile from me. 'How was preschool?' 

"The other boys laughed at me." He whined. 

I pulled him onto my lap and he tugged on my hand. 'Why did they laugh?' I didn't want him bullied like I was. Poor kid had so much potential and I would try anything to preserve it for him. 

He wrinkled his nose, "A girl named Kimi kissed me." I slightly laughed and I was thankful that I couldn't be heard. 

"Scott." Our mom walked into the room, holding a basket full of clothes. 

"Hi mommy!" He screamed, jumping off my lap. 

She took his hand lovingly and led him away from me. "Leave him alone. Go play with Kently." Sadly, this wasn't an uncommon occurrence. She didn't want him growing attached to me and I couldn't blame her. Destruction always seemed to follow me. I grabbed my backpack and hastily stuffed my clothes in it - which was only four turtle neck sweaters and a few pairs of pants. I only owned a single pair of chucks and I treasured them. I swung my bag over my shoulder and headed down the stairs. 

               I found my mom in the kitchen with Scott, cutting up some vegetables. Scott turned, bright eyed. "Hi Nate!" I wrapped him in my arms and squeezed, ignoring my mother's objections. 

'I'm leaving.' I wrote in thick, black marker. Each stroke squeaked across the page as if it were made of sandpaper. 

She stabbed the knife into the cutting board and pulled Scott away again. "-and why would I care? You always leave and always come back. Why don't you surprise me and not come back?" 

Scott's eyes widened in terror. "No mommy!" He shrieked. "Nate, don't leave me!" She grabbed him before he could bolt foreword and held him in her arms. He wriggled and fought against her to no avail. "Nate!" It hurt to hear him scream like that but it was only for a while. I wouldn't truly abandon him - not like my mom did me to Jesse.

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A/N

:D As promised, here is the next chapter! :) Hope you guys like it. Like, vote, etc. :D Thanks to all my fans!!