The Silent Boy [Boy/Boy] (Some characters from I Ran Away to Vegas...) - 2012

Chapter 20: The Notebooks

The Silent Boy [Boy/Boy]: Chapter 20: The Notebooks

AJ’s POV

               I nervously shuffled from foot to foot while Asher worked over Jesse’s back door. I wanted to get Nate’s notebook back – a jackass like Jesse didn’t deserve it. “Got it.” The door swung open and I hesitantly stepped in. Jesse was still being held since he couldn’t make bail with the amount of charges against him, “Why are we here anyway?”

“I have to get Nate’s notebook.” The house was fairly clean with all the caution tape still in place.

He shrugged as he stared at the blood stains layering the carpet. “What does it look like?”

“It’s a little thicker than a normal notebook and it has a drawn stripped pattern on the front.” I answered as I began looking through a stack of paper. Between Asher and I, it only took us fifteen minutes to look through the living room. “I’m going to look in the bedroom – you go to the kitchen.” I walked down the narrow hall that led to a single door and let myself in. The air was stagnant with the smell of incense and oils. Chains, cuffs, and whips were mixed in the blankets on the bed that over flowed onto the floor. Nate’s notebook sat on the edge, almost fully swallowed by the mess. I pulled it free and ticked it in the lining of my jacket.

“AJ!” I followed Asher’s voice into the kitchen. “Aren’t these of Nate?” He handed over a small stack of pictures before turning to rummage through another drawer. They were of Nate, starting when he was young. He looked about eight or nine but judging by the date printed in the lower corner, he was eleven.

“You can stop looking; I found his notebook in the room.”

Asher shut the drawer and followed me out. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on here?” He asked as he relocked the picked door.

I flipped through the pictures again before shoving them into my pocket. “Nate was in an abusive relationship – that’s why he can’t talk.” I stated curtly before jumping the fence into the neighbor’s backyard.

“Nate’s back in the hospital because of the guys in those pictures – isn’t he?”

Many of the pictures were of Jesse and Nate but few contained two other guys. “Probably.” I shrugged.

               I locked myself in Dad’s office and pulled out his paper shredder, placing it between my knees. I fed one picture in at a time, making sure that the remains weren’t able to be made out. I wouldn’t have Nate scrutinized for these photos. The phone rang but I ignored it, letting Daddy or Lyss get it.

“AJ?” Daddy called as I fed the last one through.

“Coming!” I yelled back as I collected the trash and put the shredder away. I unlocked the door and ascended the stairs. “Yeah?”

Both my parents were sitting on the couch with solemn looks on their faces. “Come here AJ, sit down.”

“What’s wrong – who was on the phone?”

Dad pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me. “AJ, Nate didn’t make it – his head trauma was too severe.” I felt numb. Nate couldn’t be dead – he was in a fucken Coma! “AJ?”

Tears were slipping down my cheeks and my nose began to burn. “You’re lying.” I whimpered.

“AJ, I –” Daddy began.

I jumped up. “You’re lying!” I yelled louder. Nate was strong – he wouldn’t let an asshole like Jesse take his life. “You’re lying.” I fell to my knees and buried my face in my hands. They both approached me cautiously.

“AJ, come here.” Daddy held his arms open for me. I cried into his shoulder as Dad ran his hand down my back to comfort me. “It’s okay AJ, he’s in a better place now.”

Anywhere would have been better than this place for him. “Nate can’t be dead.” I stated again but the more I said it the more the lie came out. My hands were shaking uncontrollably and I couldn’t see anything through the haze of water,

“I’m gonna go get his stuff.” Dad grabbed his keys and opened the door.

“I wanna go.” I got back to my feet as I wiped my eyes and followed him down to the car. Daddy stayed him with Alyssa who still didn’t know of Nate’s passing.

               I was silent during the car ride, my eyes staring straight ahead of me. “Are you okay, AJ?”

“It hurts. It feels like I have a knot in the pit of my stomach and I can’t swallow.” I looked to him, “What did you do when Uncle Roth died?” His real name wasn’t ‘Roth’ but after the band broke up he had it legally changed so he would always have a part of it with him.

He ran a hand through his hair and glanced at me with his almond eyes. I wished I had his eyes. “Honestly, I drank but I don’t want you to do that. You saw me drunk once and the look in your little eyes about killed me,” I remembered it all too real.

               I walked into the living room; Dad was standing outside, talking to Daddy through the window. “Come on Ikuto, I want to see my fucken kids!”

“You’re drunk Cam – they don’t need to see you like this. Sober up – then come home. Do you know how scared Alicia would be of you if she actually saw you like this?!”

“I would never lay a hand on my little girl!” Dad yelled back.

Daddy crossed his arms. “You don’t know what you would do when you’re drunk.”

“D-Daddy?” I questioned as I walked further into the room.

Daddy walked over and picked me up, balancing me on his hip. “Ikuto, let me see my son!”

“I want my dad.” I spoke as he took me into an adjoining room. “I want my dad!”

“AJ, knock it off – you can see Dad tomorrow.” He took me back to my room and sat with Alicia and me until I was asleep. I clutched my little sister closer to me, her arm wrapping around my waist. I smiled, knowing she saw me as a form of a protector. That’s the reason why she slept in my bed with me – she refused to sleep alone.

               Dad parked the car and we both got out. I swallowed the lump growing in my throat as we neared the door. Dad talked to the receptionist for a minute before we had to wait. “Do you think he was in pain?”

“Nate? I don’t think so. They had him on pain-killers while he was here.” He placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled.

My attention was caught by the door opening and a doctor walked out. He looked at us apologetically as he walked over to us. “I’m really sorry for your loss.” He held a plastic bag that contained Nate’s belongings. He handed it to my dad who then handed it to me. I clutched it close, feeling his notebook piercing through.

“Thank you.” Dad led me back to the car as the doctor disappeared behind the doors again. All that remained of Nate was his notebooks, his memory, and that single picture on my cell phone but it still felt like this was all some kind of sick joke…like Nate would walk through the doors at any moment but I knew that would never happen.

---------------------------------

AN

Sorry guys but this is the end...