✗ | 𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 ➳ brennan donnelly (discontinued)

23: Beautiful Goodbye

Monica

Brennan and I decided to do our homework together that day. I know it was pretty weird that we were hanging out even though we weren't in the best of terms, but it was our lowkey way of trying to make up.

He came over at around 10 AM then Miranda did her homework with us too. Mom had some Panda Express delivered for lunch.  At 2, we were done doing our homework and studying along with Miranda. Brennan and I were in my room. I sat on my bed and he sat on my floor. We weren't talking. I was fiddling with my blanket and he was playing with Cooper. He loved Cooper a lot and Cooper loved him too.

The silence was deafening, yet neither of us wanted to break it. It was as if we were two strangers put into one room and were forced to talk. I played some music to lighten the mood. I played Not About Angels by Birdy since it's one of my faves and connected it to my speakers. Brennan stood up and we danced. It was a slow dance with his hands on my waist and my head on his shoulder.

It was nice and relaxing. It was as if our hearts were beating as one and we were falling in love all over again. Suddenly, my phone sprung a notif and I saw that it was a text from Lily.

Lily: don't go on Twitter okay. There's a bug and it's deleting accs

Oh yeah? let me check HAHA

Lily: MONICA NO!

What could possibly go wrong Lils? HAHAHA

Lily: a lot.

That obviously wasn't real, so I checked Twitter and saw people tweeting and mentioning me left and right. I saw one tweet on my notifs with a pic. Lily was right. A lot could go wrong.

I opened it and saw a stolen pic of Brennan and Brittney hugging. I held back my tears and gasped. "What's wrong, Nic?" He asked and approached me. I shook my head and held my hand out in defense. "Don't come near me." I cried with my tears streaming down. "Monica?" He asked.

"What is this?!" I asked Brennan and showed him the pic. "Brennan, what the fuck is this?!" I yelled at him. I saw Miranda run out of her room with a tear-stained face. Did she know something I didn't?

"Monica, it's not what it looks like." He said. "Oh yeah?! You're hugging Brittney here. So you're telling me you weren't hugging her?!" I yelled. "Monica I didn't mean to–" I cut him off. "BRENNAN, SHES A HOE! SHE IS A PERSON WHO GOES FROM ONE GUY TO THE NEXT!" I yelled at him.

"MONICA, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY GIRL IN THIS WORLD!" He yelled back. "OH YEAH? IM NOT? YOU TOLD ME I WAS THE ONLY ONE IN YOURS!" I yelled. "Brennan, we've been arguing day after the for the past week. I'm so fucking tired." I sighed.

"You didn't even care about me when we were with your team, we had those stupid Twitter indirects, we had a stupid debate wherein you started getting personal, you didn't even try to say sorry the past week, and we fought last Tuesday! I'm sick of this Brennan!" I stated with tears circling my eyes.

"Monica, I have a life too. I was wrong. You're not the only one in my life, okay? There are tons of people I have to keep up with! Don't be so selfish!" He yelled. "Brennan, I know that! We both have our separate lives outside of this relationship, I know. But to treat me like nothing's going on between us just really hurts my feelings. I've been trying to forgive you and forget this shit again and again but you didn't bother to talk to me! And in one week it's as if all your respect and love for me faded away!" I snapped.

"You're so important to me. Brennan, I really, really like you! Why don't you act like you do too?" I asked him softly. The tears kept running down my face and I was hurting. My heart was shattering into a million pieces with every word. "Brennan, you're all I think about day and night. You say you love me and I know you do. Where did it all go wrong?" I cried.

He looked down and ran his fingers through his hair. He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "I love you too, Monica. It's just... Maybe we're too young. Maybe we were just blinded by love and thought that we were right for each other." He said calmly. My tears just kept coming.

"Brennan," I tried to speak. "Monica, it's a long way to go. We obviously can't seem to make things okay again." He said. "We can try." I cried. He shook his head and looked me in the eyes. His brown eyes were filling up with tears. Those brown eyes that I told myself not to fall in love with when I first saw them. "We can't." He whispered. I sighed deeply as tears ran down my face. I slowly lifted my hands to the back of my neck and took off the necklace he gave me before my birthday. It was as if I was ripping out a part of my heart.

I gave it back to Brennan as I cried. Tears were now streaming down his face too. "Then let's give each other some time okay, baby?" I cried out the heavy truth and caressed his face. He shook his head. The tables have turned. "Brennan," I sighed. "No, please. I'll take it back. Let's make things work. Monica, I can't live without you." He cried and touched my hand that was caressing his face.

I shook my head with a sad smile. I pulled him close to me and we kissed for the last time. Our foreheads touched as we cried together. "Let's give each other some time." I said again. I pulled away from him along with my hand. He hesitantly nodded while tears streamed down his face. He kissed my forehead and left my room. I heard his footsteps trail down the steps until I heard the front door shut.

I walked into my closet and got his San Diego Chargers sweater and put it on. I laid down on my bed and cried and cried and cried. That's what I did the whole day after he left.

Miranda came in with Cooper in her arms. She was crying too. I sat up and opened my arms as sat down beside me and I hugged her. There we cried together. Mom came in a few minutes later. She looked at us with a sad smile. The one she gave us when we were in desperate need of her comfort. She sat on the bed and tried her best to comfort the two of us.

When Miranda and I started to calm down, I told them what happened. Miranda didn't take it so well and I think it broke mom's heart pretty bad too.

I didn't eat dinner that night. I just went through mine and Brennan's old pictures until I cried myself to sleep.

Who knew that being free from a relationship would make you long for one and make you feel so incomplete? Who knew that Brennan practically became my other half in a matter of months?