A False Sense of Security

Chapter 5

"I'd rather sit on the floor," I mumble as I start my dreadful decent to my seat. Why did it have to be him?

Just ignore him, Kiara.

I sit down and his smile grows bigger.

"So," He says as if we're friends.

"Please, don't talk to me," I respond.

"Kiara, I don't know what I did." He whines. Then he gets serious and gets in defensive stance, "Are you like PMSing or something?".

I have never glared at someone so hard. In. My. Life.

"First off, No! And second, never ask me or any other girl that, again!" I whisper shouted.

"I'll apologize and take you out for ice cream if you tell me what I did," Aiden ask me in song like tone.

My eyes lit up at the word ice cream. I contemplated for a bit and thought who can turn down free ice cream.

I sighed, "Fine! But don't think that we're friends now,".

He smiled and then I guess he just understood the second part of my statement.

"Why not?" He asked "Why won't you let me in? Why can't we be friends?" Then the universe decided that it loved me again and I heard a buzz ring through the class.

"Mrs. Frazier, Can Kiara Anders head down to the office, she is leaving," the receptionist's voice rang through. Thank God.

I gathered my stuff quickly grabbed the homework from her hand, without a single word.

I got to the office and see Koda, Rafe, and Bruce waiting for me.

"Hey, Kiara," Bruce greeted "This is the only time I could get you in for all of your physicals."

Oh Shit. Physicals means doctors. And doctors meant shots. I was petrified of them. They brought back too many bad memories.

***

I was sitting in the waiting room waiting, obviously, to be called to see the doctor. My anxiety was eating me away. I couldn't help but think about what Aiden said. "Your really,....unique," his voice rang through my head.

When I was sick of hearing that word all the time here I asked to visit with my family in Tamron'i. But the kids here must of wrote a letter to the kids there informing them what to do to make my self esteem plummet and my control on my emotions loosen each time they said that single word.

"Kiara Anders," a nurse called taking me out of my thoughts and making me put on a happy face.

Everything was going fine until we got to my least favorite part.

"Shot time!" The doctor chimed excitedly. Just the word made me have a mental breakdown. But you couldn't see it on the outside. From years of practice I have mastered the act of hiding my emotions from the world. Even my friends and family.

He put the needle in front of my face. I'm hyperventilating on the inside. I close my eyes and count to ten.

1 for how many months I was left alone to fend for myself by him.

2 for how many times I was held captive by him.

3 for how many times a day I had been tortured and beaten by him.

4 for how many hours of sleep I get at night because of him.

5 for the hours I was left alone in the pitch dark chained to that pole in the closet each day.

6 for how many days it took me to regain enough strength to pick up a plastic spoon after what he did to me.

7 for how old I was when this whole thing started.

8 for how many years of therapy I obviously need.

9 for how many times a day I wish I could see him dead.

10 for how many times I think of suicide a day, at least.

And then it's over.

"Alright Kiara, all done," the doctor says as he takes the needle out of my arm.

"Thanks," I smile trying and hopefully succeeding in hiding my fear. "I'll be right back have to go check your results to make sure your healthy." The doctor said as he walked to the door.

And now I'm alone. I sigh. Why am so unusual. Another word kids would call me in school. I hate it, too. But I don't hear it as much as the other one, which is good. I guess.

The doctor comes back in and looks over my folder. "Hmm," He says as he looks through my results. Then he says the worst possible thing to me. "You, Kiara, are very unique," He smiles.

No one could tell from the outside, but I was screaming on the inside. No. No. No.

Why does this always happen. I wanted to escape from this hell I'm in. I have to let out some pain. Is there a way to let out some pain? If there is I need to find it now. I'm Desperate.

***

We left the hospital and go home. I walk straight to my room and look through my closet. There's the box! I set it on my bed and open it. My grandfathers old dagger. My mom gave it to me as remembrance of him. He used to rule Tamron'i, but he died in war, my mom said. Tamron'i is very different from America. It is an older way of living.

In Tamron'i there is modern technology, don't get me wrong, more modern then here. Though, there is a castle and people ride in carriages or ride horses, since the Island is too beautiful to be destroyed by the pollution motor vehicles make. It's clothing is defiantly not modern. There is armor built into everyone's clothes. Tamron'i is an Island of warriors, philosophers , farmers, royalty, and astrologists. The sky is very important to our culture. As the gods we believe in are tied in with the stars, planets, sun, and moon.

I study the dagger and trace its edges I get to the blade and test how sharp it is. I pushed my finger on the very tip of it and, without much effort, a single drop of blood runs down the blade. Perfect. I place the dagger at my wrist and push down. Once I feel it cut into my skin I pull the blade up my arm until it hits half way. Then I repeat the process a couple a more times.

I could feel my pain escaping my body with my blood. I needed to get rid of more. I cut deeper. When I ran out of room on one arm I started on the next and when I didn't have any room on my other arm I started to cut my wrists without thinking to transfixed in the satisfaction of the pain I'm feeling being released.

I start to feel dizzy. Oh Shit. There are black spots everywhere I look. I hear faint banging on the door and yelling before I collapse and everything goes dark.