Disrespectful. ; An August Alsina FanFiction.

The Calm Before The Storm

I stood on the balcony watching the cars go by. I was in a complete moment of euphoria and I didn't want to let it go.

For the first time in my life I felt like the chips that fell at my feet were good luck. The past week I had been locked in this apartment trying not to go back to the normal world, but I had a tour and August had to go back to his family. 

I replayed the week and couldn't help but smile and feel warmth. It was amazing, don't get me wrong, but there was a feeling that I just couldn't shake. Something was going to happen and it wiped the feeling of love, right out of my body every time I took a breath. 

"Ma, why you out here? It's cold. Lets enjoy our last night." My body warmed at the sound of his deep southern accent. I turned around to see him and Bri standing at the balcony waiting on my response.

"What's wrong? Why are you out here?" He said as I turned to come back in the house.

"There was a feeling I just couldn't shake. I just needed a minute. I promise I'm good." He nodded at me as I grabbed Bri from his arms and went to watch the movie we ordered. 

I could feel that he was burning to ask a question but wouldn't let it escape his lips.

"Just ask me Aug, I can feel you staring." He let go of the breath he was holding in. 

"Are you gonna be alright on tour without me? You've been having these crazy dreams and Sky," He let out a chuckle, "She is nothing to play with. She's like a grade A life ruiner and I don't want to have to hurt her because she hurt you."

I sighed. "First of all, 'ruiner' isn't even a word and second of all I dealt with her my whole life. I know how to handle her. It's not like she can get what I have. She's tried to trap you twice and i hasn't worked not yet."

He laughed. I could tell that he didn't believe me, but he was trying to. He was my protector and I could tell him leaving was hurting him more than it was hurting me.

"I honestly just don't want to leave you. There's no way I can protect you from Atlanta when you're God knows where." 

I didn't want to say this but I had to, so that he could understand. "I was without you for months, I'm better than I was before and you will always be the first person I call if something is wrong, but I have to do this. There is no way around this. I have a career and I have a life and I can't stop that for anyone. I've just come too far Aug."

He nodded his head as if he understood but I know it's not what he wanted to hear. I just wanted him to understand that I am my own woman. 

"I want you to know that you could never be less than a queen to me. You've shown me better than any other person in my life that you are here for me. Even when I feel didn't deserve it. You showed me that no matter what that I was a man and I deserved to be loved like anyone else. You bring out the best in people. From the beginning when you needed me I was there, but now I need you. I really do. I realized I am nothing without you. Do you understand me?"

I was taken back. I wasn't ready for the honesty. I was always so used to defending myself with him. I was the side chick for so long, maybe I wasn't used to being the center of his attention, a family. 

"Say something, I want to know whether or not you hearing me."

I nodded. That's all I could do.

"No. You say you understand me. You say you understand that I love you more than life itself. I know that I have had some issues that you've had to sit around and endure. You are better than anything that has been presented in my life thus far. Without Tee introducing us I could still be out here lost and unsure. Living everyday like it wasn't a gift. I just wanna thank you."

I nodded. "I understand Aug. I love you more than you could ever understand. Please know that this leaving was never about you, it was about me. Making sure that I knew I mattered. 

He looked devastated but he understood. The journey that I have needed to take was my own. At this point I didn't know if August and I would ever be a thing again. I could promise that I knew I could be myself and that's who I planned to be and place first always.