you promised forever // poetry

again

i was going to write about you again

but then i remembered you don't care

and i should be over this.

truthfully, i never dealt with it in the first place

maybe that's why emotions and tears have been pouring out of me lately

they're kind of drowning my fucking guts.

i guess i just want you to know that i think you're as beautiful as the sunsets i wanted to show you

and as gorgeous as the moon we looked at on my roof together that one night

i remember thinking,
i wish i could give you the moon. you deserve something as beautiful as yourself.

but it was too late, and before i could show you beauty,

you found beauty in someone else.

anyways,

i want you to know i'm happy for you

i hope she gives you the moon.

i'm hurt that you're not happy with me,

but that's not really what people are meant to say.

so i'll smile and tell you that i'm fine, and that i'm happy for you,

when really, all i am is sad that i wasn't able to give you the moon when you gave me the entire world.

i'd still give you the moon if i could

i'd give you the whole damn sky and every star

even if you ended up sharing it with her instead.

shit,

i wrote about you again.