my hands;
they burn.
they feel like they've been set on fire and no matter how much water i pour on them the fire just won't go out.
it hurts
but i've gotten used to the sensation.
it's the one that keeps me up at night.
the one that reminds me that i'm alive.
the one that reminds me i can't escape the pain no matter how fast i run.
the doctors told me that it's because my anxiety levels are so high that my brain can't tell mental and physical pain apart.
do you understand what that means?
it means that my body and mind feel so much pain that they turn the mental pain into physical pain just to try and get rid of some of it.
it means that my mental pain is so bad and so painful that physical pain feels the same. i simply can't tell the two apart.
it's like when you stub your toe and your dad tells you to hurt another part of your body to make you forget about the first injury.
that's what i'm doing.
that's what i'm doing when my mind decides to make my hands burn. that's what i'm doing when i scar my wrists over and over again until i forget about the other pain.
i just wanna forget.
YOU ARE READING
you promised forever // poetry
Poezja'i risked my life to get you this rose. now all i need to know is if you care enough to let it die or let it grow' a book of my poems/rants :) **lowercase is intended**
