i think i have finally managed
to start hating you.
i think i mean it
when i write it down.
it's not just a coping method anymore.
and that is what hurts the most, now.
i used to just think about forgiving you,
but that felt too much like loving you,
and that felt too much like choking on my own breath,
which felt too much like fucking dying.
so i have to hate you.
i have to loathe you, at least for a while.
maybe i won't have to one day.
maybe i will be able to
smile at you
and it will be genuine and kind
and not pulled apart by a needle and thread.
but for now,
i have to write the angry poetry
and the bitter prose
and i have to want to vomit
at the thought of ever talking to you
again
and i have to ignore you
and act like you don't exist
so that one day
it won't matter that you do.
YOU ARE READING
you promised forever // poetry
Poetry'i risked my life to get you this rose. now all i need to know is if you care enough to let it die or let it grow' a book of my poems/rants :) **lowercase is intended**
