Through Heaven or Hell (William Macbeth X Female Reader)

Long, Dark Nights

Will stared at himself in the mirror. He took in the dark circles under his eyes, his wire-framed glasses, his pale skin, his skinny form.

"Flirting with me?" he whispered as he thought back to his conversation with his sister. Giving a derisive snort, he shook his head. "Yeah, right."

He pushed himself from the mirror, disgusted with himself.

There was no way that (Y/N) liked him. She was just being polite. Just being the sweet person she naturally was. She just wanted them to be friends. After all, who would even look twice at him?

The thought made his heart burn and ache. He wished that this wasn't the case. He so desperately wanted to become something more than a friend to (Y/N). But that would be stupid... wouldn't it?

He wandered back to his bed as his heart beat painfully in his chest.

He knew he shouldn't care - he knew that with a painful clarity. But he couldn't stop thinking of her. Her happy grin, her sparkling eyes, her disheveled hair... she was so perfect when Will was so pathetic in comparison. She was a beautiful, living person when Will was a dying creature that deserved to be buried six feet underground.

Maybe that would finally stop Despair.

Sighing, he collapsed on his bed, smashing his face into his pillow. He resolved to stop thinking of the beautiful girl.

He simply laid there, feeling the edges of his glasses cut into his skin. Will did nothing to stop the discomfort - what was the point, honestly? Why should he try to stop himself from hurting himself? As long as nobody else got hurt, it would be fine.

He didn't know how long he laid there before he shifted to his side, slipping the glasses from his face. He placed them on his bedside table and snapped off the light coming from his cheap lamp.

Darkness filled the room. With the darkness returned even darker thoughts and feelings.

A tear slipped from the corner of his eye as he thought about the overwhelming horror that had happened to both him and his sister. Why them? Why was Mary doomed to have her faulty heart, or whatever the hell it was now? Why did he have to be the host to the demon that was trying to destroy as much as possible?

"Why?" he whispered, his voice cracking, more tears gathering in his eyes. "Why did this happen?"

Mom... Dad... can you tell me? Can you help me?

He gave a choking sob. The darkness felt crushing. He somehow knew that even if they fixed everything, he wasn't going to survive.

Despair stirred slightly, causing Will's sobs to slowly come to a stop. He tried to shove his emotions down, hide them.

The last time that Will had been so emotional, Despair had easily taken over. Will had slipped into a dreamless sleep. The next thing he knew, he woke up aching everywhere from countless bruises and scratches.

To this day, he still didn't know if Despair had purposefully hurt him or if he had just gone on some sort of hunt, but Will had definitely learned his lesson. Since then, he tried to keep himself from getting too emotional, too vulnerable.

But he found that he couldn't stuff his aching feelings down - not this time.

Pressing his palms into his eyes, he tried to stem the tears still leaking from the corners of them. He was unsuccessful, however. All he did was wet his cheeks and hands.

He couldn't erase the thoughts of the bright girl. In his attempt to ignore his anger and sadness about the Great Collapse, he had unintentionally thought of (Y/N) - whom he had tried to avoid thinking of as well. She seemed so sweet and yet...

The whispered conversations with Leo. The way she always rushed out, back home or back to work. The odd looks she always seemed to share with her friends. They all pointed to one obvious solution.

She hates me - she couldn't possibly like me! There's just no way... no way...

Will let out a choking sob. Of course she didn't. Why would she? He was useless. Annoying. Pathetic.

He disregarded his sister's words completely. There was absolutely no way for anybody to like him. No possible way. He was completely alone, drowning in his mind and emotions and demons.

Despair began stirring more. He was almost awake.

Stop, stop, stop! Will screamed at himself. Calm down! No!

He curled up into a tight ball, forcing his tears to dry. Once his breathing had calmed, he stared out into the darkness. He felt like he was being crushed into oblivion and blurring into a faint gray. Either way, whether he could be freed or if he'd die underneath Despair's crushing weight, he knew he was going to disappear into the darkness surrounding him.

Eventually, he fell into a discontented sleep, tear tracks dried onto his face, his breathing still shaky and dry.

I'm never good enough...

(A/N): AAAAHH, I'm sorry that this is so short!!!! A lot was happening this week, but I wanted to at least update because I'm liking where this is heading haha

Also, this is a day early??? I hope you enjoy it haha - I wanted to post it on my birthday because... I don't know! The 13th is considered a good day to do things on, right? (I'm so excited because next year, my birthday's going to be on Friday the 13th lol)

But yeah! Anyway! I hope you like it despite the fact it's so short!!