Through Heaven or Hell (William Macbeth X Female Reader)

Childhood Messes

(Y/N) couldn't fight the smile that spread across her face as she held Will's hand. It had been a pretty gutsy move, especially for her, but it had been so worth it. She discovered that he liked to swing his hand in time to their footsteps.

She cast a glance to the blonde boy walking next to her, his eyes trained on the ground as his cheeks flushed red. She bit her lip as she tried to keep her smile from growing. There it was again - he got embarrassed too easily. She found it adorable.

As the cold bit through her jacket, however, she found herself regretting her decision. Frozen yogurt sounded horrible when she was already freezing. Steven's sweatshirt had done its job at first, but soon the light breeze had chilled her to the bone. The cold seemed so much worse after she got an attack, she noticed.

She hoped that she wouldn't get lightheaded.

"So... frozen yogurt when it's practically below freezing." She flashed Will a wry grin. "I'm guessing you don't feel the cold that easily."

He startled at the sound of her voice. His bright blue eyes met hers. "W-well, I guess." He swallowed and avoided her gaze.

(Y/N) noted that in avoiding her gaze, his eyes had jumped to their linked hands. His cheeks flushed red again and she knew it wasn't because of the brisk air.

Giggling, she lightly ran a thumb over his hand. His cheeks got even redder.

"I-I guess that I d-don't really pay attention to the w-weather," he continued, obviously trying to keep his cool. His stuttering gave away his nervousness however. A small smile then spread across his face as he remembered something. "I remember the last time I said that, Mary dared me to run outside wearing just my pajamas." He looked back at her, suddenly at ease - or, as at ease as he could be. For some reason he always seemed nervous around her. She could still see that anxiety hidden in his eyes. "It would've been fine had it not been twenty degrees below freezing and I hadn't been wearing just some shorts and a t-shirt."

A laugh escaped her mouth. "Wait, you were just wearing shorts and a t-shirt during winter? And you thought that it wouldn't be that bad when you went outside?" (Y/N) didn't bother asking who Mary was - it was either White or some other friend of Will's.

This time, only his ears went red. "Well, in my defense, I hadn't expected Mary to come out with me and dunk me in the closest snowbank."

Again, (Y/N) snorted. "And this Mary is White, correct?"

"Oh! Yeah, she is." The grin on his face faltered slightly and suddenly she regretted bringing up his sister. He probably didn't want to remember what had happened to White. What had stopped those childish pranks from being pulled. "I guess I forgot to mention that."

She studied him, pain stabbing in her chest. This time, however, they had nothing to do with her condition. She could see him retreating into his shell.

Damn... why did I have to open my stupid mouth?

"At least you didn't try to flush yourself down the toilet. Or eat dirt like it was candy." She hesitated, trying to think of some more instances. "Or sprain your ankle to the point you couldn't walk properly for three months," she finally decided on adding.

Will tilted his head slightly, giving her a look that said, 'oh trust me, I have.'

She felt a smile twist the corners of her mouth up. So it seemed that he wasn't completely retracted into his shell. "And I mean spraining it by walking around slowly on level ground."

That gave him pause. "Okay, so maybe I haven't done something like that. But I did once jump off a bridge to grab a camera. I ended up in the hospital." He gave her a smile, as if he was asking her to beat that.

"Oh my," she laughed, tilting her head back slightly. "I don't know if I can top that. The only things I used to do were the stupid things that kids always do."

"I don't care if you can top it. I love hearing about your childhood." There was a smile in his voice.

(Y/N) paused when she heard that. Her childhood. He didn't know much about what actually happened in his childhood. What her mother did... what (Y/N) had done... He only knew the simple things of her childhood, the few moments where things were normal.

She bit her lip. "Well, I um..." She floundered for a second as she tried to push back the horrible memories of her childhood and think of something funny. Finally, something came to her. "Once, when I was sick, I puked in front of my older sister's door so that when she woke up, she'd walk into it."

Will gave a surprised cry of laughter. "You did what? Are you kidding me?"

A warmth filled her cheeks. (Y/N) hoped that he couldn't see it. "I'm not joking! I essentially set up a booby trap for my older sister." A thoughtful look suddenly filled her face. "I don't even know why I did that. I wasn't mad at her or anything. I just decided to do it." She gave a shrug. "Who knows what my thinking process was?"

At this point, Will was dying of laughter. She was slightly surprised that she got such a boisterous response. The things she had said didn't seem that funny to her.

"It's really not that funny," she muttered, tugging a chunk of her (H/C) hair in front of her face. A grin perked up the corners of her lips, however. Somehow, she had pulled Will from his shell - perhaps even further out of it than she had ever seen before. All she could think of at the moment was how beautiful his smile was. How sunny and full of light it was.

He took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down a bit. "No, it really is. That's hilarious." He looked into her eyes and she saw tears in them from laughing so hard. "I have never even considered doing something like that. What could've possibly been going through your mind?"

"I already told you, I have no clue! I just -" (Y/N) made an awkward motion to convey vomiting on the floor - "all over the place."

He gave another chuckle that sent tingles up her spine. Why was he so brilliant and perfect?

Her heart stopped for a moment as she considered another question: Did she love him?

No, she told herself firmly, you can't, remember?

She cleared her throat and pulled her hand away from his. It was cold from the sudden lack of Will's warmth. She couldn't be falling in love - that was simply impossible. And even if it was possible, she knew she didn't deserve it.

Had she been paying attention, she would've known that even when she had deliberately dropped his hand, Will had half-heartedly chased her hand with his own. If she had looked back at him, she would've seen disappointment and loss written all over his face.

"Well, um, I-I guess we're here." Will forced a smile to hide his disappointment, although (Y/N) knew he was faking. His stutter was now quite familiar to her. She also knew he was faking because she felt the exact same way when she pulled away.

Disappointed.

But she had a reason why. She knew why she had to.

You are always and forever incapable of loving, was what her mother always told her. And why would (Y/N) believe anything else after everything that had happened?

(A/N): I haven't slept in 18 years holy hell. I'm so tired. 

Anyway, here's another part. I absolutely, in no way, totally did not use my own experiences in my childhood in this chapter. Nope. No way. Especially not the one where (Y/N) puked in front of her sister's door. I have never done that in my life. Not at all.

Enjoy!