Gone To Hell | Seventeen

XXIV.

I stood in front of that damn sign again, beginning to rethink my plan. It was surely a bad idea to go, and alone at that, but I needed to get away and get a break from the normal schedule we'd been in for months. After losing Jeonghan, I couldn't handle seeing everyone looking at me like I was going to break next. I hated that everyone felt sad for me rather than themselves, like I was the only one who cared about him and that hurt to lose him.

Again, I looked at the directions the map gave me just two days ago. I was heading for disaster, I knew it, and I knew people would be disappointed that I'd even go through with this. I wasn't going to feel right elsewise, though.

Attached to the sign, I found a tinier, handheld map; the kind cliché families try to follow when they get lost on vacation. It looked like it was placed at the sign to give survivors a better chance at finding the place, like it was a tourist attraction. The neighborhood was circled again, and the direction was paved out with a sharpie.

I began walking in the direction it told me to. I tried to mark out all the landmarks we passed on our way to the motel, on those horses in the cold October air. That was a horrible day, and that night was no better.

I walked with my feet going rapidly. It wasn't like the night on the horses. I had a longer journey ahead of me, and it was only me being put in danger, so I speed-walked. The danger of the rotters seemed even lower than before. In fact, I hadn't seen a rotter since... Jeonghan.

This wasn't even a zombie apocalypse. This was just a disaster. We were so scared the first day to see what the world would turn into, and it was hardly even threatening. That first shock of rotters on the first day of the apocalypse was just about the only real time we were in danger of the undead. After the herd of rotters came onto the farm the one time, we were just scared of other survivors instead. We were always prepared for the zombie attacks, but they never really came anymore. The threat was Hyunjoon.

I continued walking as fast as possible without it turning into a jog. My feet hitting the concrete, and only my feet, reminded me of when it was Jeonghan and I. Those hours with only him and I, walking into Seoul in silence at our losses, felt like so long ago, and I missed those moments. I badly wished to go back to that time that seemed so much more difficult, but really was less stressful.

Finding Chaeji was a great moment too. She stood on that truck, horrified but strong. Jeonghan was skeptical about saving her, but I didn't care, and we ended up with a companion that didn't even get much of a fighting chance to survive to the end.

And then Samuel, he was here for three months, and he seemed comfortable with us for that time. Him leaving suddenly like that was odd, and I missed him nearly as much as Chaeji.

Jeonghan lied to me. Not just once, but many times, too. I loved him so much, as I always would, but it hurt to know that even his promise wasn't enough to keep him going. I wanted to go back and change what happened.

I sighed, deciding that Jeonghan was not a suitable topic for this long of a journey. I decided that I needed to think of something different, more optimistic.

Maybe there was a chance to bring those people we lost back. Jeonghan always seemed sure that there would be a cure someday. He talked about it often, the opportunity to revive the people who didn't get to even try. Maybe there was a cure, that could bring back the rotters from their forms. My guess would be that anyone who died from something fixable could live as rotters, then the cure could bring them back. But I was no scientist, nor were any of us, so I had no clue.

I wondered if there were actually other people out there. This Bucheon Safe Haven could be a prank, or something set up by bad guys. That's why I had to be careful when I got there. I could sneak around and see if I recognized anyone from the Hellseekers, and if not, watch to see what they did. If they were the Hellseekers, I'd leave as soon as possible. If anything was fishy, I'd be gone and out of there before I could be seen. If they seemed harmless, I could try to talk to them. But if they were bad, we'd have to-