Gone To Hell | Seventeen

IX.

September 30th. 7 days into this new Hell. It felt like so much longer than 7 days. Then again, I wouldn't want the time to fly.

The whole group was outside, sitting around the fire while Joshua strummed the strings of a guitar Run Squad found. They found a bunch of cool stuff, like old board games and things we could use to occupy our time with fun. But the thing is, getting these items was a complete damper on the group's 'fun-meter'.

I hadn't been there, of course, but apparently Yunmi had run into a rotter in the store and nearly got scratched. After they came back and made Seungcheol thoroughly search and check to make sure she was okay, we decided to let Run Squad chill out for a few days. There wasn't a whole lot of chill with Seungcheol insulting Yunmi and calling her reckless for something she couldn't really have prevented.

It was 3 days ago that the herd came through and shook us up. Since then, the only time anyone left camp was the run Yunmi nearly died on. We were too afraid to lose someone. So we hid.

Joshua's strumming turned into an actual song. At first, it wasn't really recognizable, until Joshua started singing along and made it clear that it was Sing For You by EXO, a group that had disbanded mysteriously around March.

"Picking up my old guitar,
The confession that I couldn’t make
Pretending I made one song, I’m about to tell
Just listen, I’ll sing for you."

I had never paid attention to the lyrics, but now I was.

"I love you a lot but I don’t say the words,
It’s awkward that pride doesn’t allow me
Today I will take courage and tell you, but just
Listen to it carelessly, I’ll sing for you."

Joshua closed his eyes.

"The way you cry, the way you smile
I wonder how much they mean to me
The words I want to say, but missed the chance
I will confess but just listen,
I’ll sing for you, sing for you
Just listen once and smile."

I sighed and looked around at the faces which were lit up by the fire's glow. Chaeji sadly smiled at me.

"It’s a bit funny to me, although you’re everything
To me, sometimes I am no better than a stranger
Actually I want to rub my hair
And be hugged in your arms."

Jeonghan sat down next to me.

"The way you cry, the way you smile
I wonder how much they mean to me
The words that I regretted when I looked back
I will apologize but just listen,
I will sing for you, sing for you
Just act casually."

I was starting to associate the lyrics with people we've lost. We were confessing to our deceased.

"Everyday I am thankful that you are with me
My gift that God gave to me
After today, I might act awkward again
But today I really want to say today
So listen."

The final verse was like Joshua was telling us he was thankful to be with us.

"The way you cry, the way you smile
I wonder how much they mean to me.
The words I want to say, but missed the chance
I will confess and it’s a bit awkward, but
Just listen I will sing for you, sing for you
Just listen, I will sing for you."

After he stopped playing the guitar, the camp was silent. It was completely depressing and awkward, and it only became worse as Joshua set the guitar down.

"What?" Vernon scoffed. "How dare you sadden everyone and just stop?"

Vernon was of course joking, but he was also serious about our group now seeming awkward.