Diary of a homo | PewdieCry

Dear Diary - Please be alright..

~Felix's POV~

I walked into my room and took my jacket off. "Felix?" I heard my sister call.

"What do you want Liebe?!" I growled. My sister walked into my room and glared at me with her red eyes. Her pale skin and very light blond hair shone with the light.

"Stop pretending Felix." She said angrily.

"Shut up you albin bitch" She frowned and walked up to me, glaring. "Felix, there's no one home"

I looked around and close the curtains. I shut the door close and I walk towards my bed. Liebe follows me and sits next to me. "It's ok" She whispers soothingly. My breath starts to go heavy and my eyes well with tears. I shut close my eyes and I balled my fists. My arms started trembling and my sobs instantly started escaping my gut.

"It's ok.." Liebe said again and wrapped her arms around me protectively. "There's no one who can see your pain now.. You can rely on me."

"I.." I sobbed and broke down. I finally started crying and let go of the pain. "I h-hate this!" I cried out loud.

"What do you hate Felix?"

"I hate my feelings towards him!! I hate having to treat him like shit so Lacey and the crew won't hurt him! I hate lying to him!"

"Who is 'him' and what did you lie about?" She asked, rubbing my back. I sniffed and brought my knees up to my chest to hug them and cry louder.

"Ryan.." I said sobbing and gazed back at her. Liebe gave me a small smile and nodded.

"Ryan who?"

"Ryan Terry" She tensed up and her smile vanished

"What?" I asked confused.

"Nothing" She instantly said and smiled again "What did you lie about?"

"Meeting his worried father.."

"You said you met his father?"

"Yeah" I looked down "He disappeared for a week, so I fugred his father was going to be worried. When I mentioned him he didnt look happy or anything, he looked angry by it.. I'd give everrything to have them back.."

"It's ok, Fe.." Liebe said smiling "It's just a small lie.." I bit my lip and looked down. "What else did you do?"

"I beat him.." I said remembering how I took the bat and hit him as hard as I could. "But.. I didn't mean to go that far.."

'I should stop' I thought to myself but the grasp on the bat went tighter and rage filled me.

'Why? Scared mom and dad will yell at you? Sorry to break your buvvle but they're dead.' My voice, yet not mine, said. I scowled and tried to shut the voice but ended up cracking one of Cry's bones.

'Stop!' I screamed to myself but I kept hitting him 'why? He's not grateful with his father.'

"Felix stop" Lacey said along with something else, but I was drowned by Cry's screams for help and mercy.

I frowned and turned to her  'Cant I teach him to appreciate his family?' I swung the bat and hit her sides.

She growled in pain and I sighed to myself. I glanced back at Cry and I felt my heart gain pounds. My stomach went empty and tears formed in my eyes. "Pick her up" I said and turned from Cry, hating what I just did.