Relearning to Love {Book Four} The Mentalist

23: My Arm

*Missy's pov* 

"I won't be able to do use it?" I asked Dr. Smith. Never able to use my arm. I won't be able to write again, to fire a gun, to do anything. All because of Bill. Even after his death he is still screwing with my life. 

"I'm afraid so," she answered. "I'll leave you all alone to think about it." She walked out of the door, leaving me alone with Patrick and the kids. I closed my eyes to try and stop the tears. I felt Patrick's grip on my hand get tighter, and two hands on both of my legs. 

"Missy, don't cry," Patrick told me wiping a tear off my cheek. 

"My arm," I sobbed. I moved it up a bit, but I couldn't keep it up. I could barely move my fingers. It was just a limb on my body, and I was upset about it. 

"Hey, it's not too bad," Brayson told me with a smile. He was trying to cheer me up. 

"How?" I asked him, and he thought. 

"Well it could have been your leg," he answered. "You could have died instead. You have two other gun shoot wounds that will heal. Isn't that a good thing?" 

"It is," Alexis said nodding her head. "And you have Dad back. The Red Stars are gone. You have two wonderful children, an uncle, friends. They won't leave you because of your arm." 

"I know they won't," I replied. Patrick picked up my chin so I could see him. His blue eyes looked so serious, and the frown on his lips was strange. 

"We won't let you be useless," he said, catching what I was worried about. If I couldn't do things with my right arm, I was going to be useless. "We'll find things for you to do. You'll learn to use your left arm for things that you usually use your right hand for. I promise." 

"Alright," I said and he smiled at me. 

"Did I ever tell you that I really liked left handed people?" 

"You didn't," I laughed at him. He laughed too. 

"Didn't you learn something new today?" 

"I learned a few things." 

"Well Mom I have more finals to go do," Brayson told me standing up. "I just come to check up on you. I'll see you later." 

"I'll see you later also," I told him and he kissed my cheek. 

"I love you," he told me. 

"I love you too." 

"I have to go too Mom," Alexis said. "I have homework and stuff to get done. I'll be back tomorrow." 

"Alright," I said has she left. I looked at Patrick who had a smile on his face. 

"I think we left off on this," he told me kissing me. I kissed back. I missed him so much that it wasn't even funny how much I missed him. Matt might have been a nice guy, but he was nothing but a friends compared to Patrick. 

Patrick wrapped his arms around my neck, and I stopped him. He looked down at me, pain on his face. He made it look like I hit him, but I know I didn't. He sighed and started to get up, but I stopped him. I knew what he wanted, and I wanted it too, but there was a reason I stopped him. 

"Not here," I whispered in his ear. He smiled at me and nodded. "When I get out, okay?" 

"Alright," he told me. "I do owe you a dinner." 

"I know," I laughed. He laid down and took me in his arms again. I placed my good hand on his chest and looked up at him. "I should be out of here soon."  

"I know you will," Patrick replied and he slowly fell asleep. I laid down on him, and I sighed. 

I couldn't use my right arm ever again. I couldn't hold things in my hand, I couldn't raise it to point, I couldn't move my elbow, I couldn't do anything with it. How was I going to drive anywhere? How was I going to do my job? How was I going to do anything? I felt the tears coming back. The Red Stars always have tried to make me feel helpless, but they never tried to make me useless. I felt helpless so many times, but the time they only tried to kill me, they make me useless. I turned and looked up at Patrick. 

How could he love me like this? I was going to be dependent on him now and he was going to have to help me with so many things. He was going to have to help me get dressed in the morning and evening. He was going to have to drive me from place to place when I needed to go somewhere. He was going to have to start helping with cooking and cleaning. I don't know why anyone would stay and still love me. Yet I knew he was going to stay no matter what, and that made me wonder why he loved me. What was so special about me that could make him stay no matter what I did or what was wrong with me? 

I wasn't as beautiful as some of the women he knew. I was pretty, but I wasn't straight up beautiful. I wasn't has smart has others. I don't know what he saw in me that made him stay. I closed my eyes to go to sleep. 

"It's because I love you," I heard him whisper. He must have been watching me and knew what I was thinking. "I don't care about your looks or how smart you are. It isn't because you are talented or anything like that. It's because of your heart and how much of mine you have taken of mine." 

"Oh Patrick," I sighed and I could see him smile at me. 

"And you are beautiful, and you are smart, kind, talented, and so much more. You are a great woman, and I don't ever want you to think that you aren't." 

"I won't." 

"Good. Now go to sleep. Good night Missy." 

"Good night Patrick." 

I'm just posting all the mean stuff, aren't I? Haha, This is pretty sad. What's even sadder is that there is only two more chapters left, then Racked will start, then the R series is over! I will cry for a week when it is over. I hope you all like it! Peace out my Stars!