Relearning to Love {Book Four} The Mentalist

14: The Walk

"I can't believe it," Brayson said looking at Matt with wide eyes. I was too. 

"I'm sorry Brayson, but it is true," Matt told him giving him a bottle of pills. 

"What are these?" Brayson asked. 

"They will help keep you from getting too extreme emotions," Matt explained. "Take one a day and you will be fine. It will stop things like crying and fist fights from happening. I'm sorry to have to tell you that." 

Matt started to walk away, but I ran over and stopped him. He looked at me with a smile, and I couldn't believe I had to do this. I didn't have to, but I still had to keep the plan going. 

"Matt, I wanted to know if you wanted to go to this restaurant next Saturday," I told him. Matt smiled and took my arms in his hands. 

"Of course I would love too," Matt replied and walked back into his office. I walked back to Brayson who looked up at me with tears in his eyes.

"What happened to me?" he asked me and I made him stand up so I could hug him. He fell into my arms crying, just like he did when he was a kid and was hurt. Mommy always held the wound, no matter what it was. This was no different. 

"Nothing," I told him looking at him. "It is just something you have." 

"Does it change me?" he asked, and we were walking around on the path Matt had for people to cool off. We were close to a pound and I pick up a rock. 

"You see this?" I asked him. He nodded. 

"It's a rock," he told me. "What about it?" 

"Let's look at it closely. It's flat, it's smooth, and seems like it knows itself and it's shape." I threw the rock into the pound, and looked at Brayson. "Now do you think that rock has changed besides getting wet?" 

"No, it takes time to change something." 

"So now, having bipolar disorder. It will take time to change you, and that is if you want to. You are in control of how the water changes you, unlike that rock. If you want to change, then you can change. If you don't want to, then you don't have to. This is just going to make you into a stronger rock, something that people will look up too." 

"Mom, that sounds like something Dad would say." 

"I know what he would say, and this is what he would say. Your father would agree with me. Now why don't we walk?" 

"Okay," he said and we walked around the path. I was thinking about what I said. "Hey Mom," Brayson spoke up, making me look at him. 

"Yes?" I asked. 

"If it takes time to change someone, then why did you change has soon has Dad was gone?" 

"Brayson, how would you feel if someone told you that you could never see Kasey again? That the one person who changed you life for good when it all feels like it is crashing down was never going to be with you for has long has you live? Would you just let that go over noticed until it hits you that they are gone, or wait for a year and then act upset? Some things change you quickly while others have to take time. It just depends on what it is." 

"So Dad being taken changed you?" 

"It did." 

"Mom, do you think this plan of yours is going to work?" he asked standing in front of me. I looked down, and thought about it. Would the Red Stars let him go if I somehow made something with Matt. They wouldn't have a reason to keep him, and knowing Bill, he would want Patrick to leave watching me love someone else. The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love love someone else. 

"I do," I answered and Brayson looked at me, then he smiled. 

"Then I want you to do it. I want you to feel better and I want Dad back. And when you kill Bill, I want you to do it for the reason he hurt people who didn't need to be hurt. That innocent people were killed and they had a bright future. Not for the reason he hurt you. Okay?" 

"I understand Brayson," I answered, then looked at my watch. "We should get going. You are going to have to tell them that you are bipolar, you know that, right?" 

"I do. I don't want to, but I do know I have to tell them. Is it going to be hard?" 

"Only if you let it be hard." 

"Alright." 

We made one more lap around the building, the lights going off. I turned on the headlights, buckled my seat-belt, and looked over at Brayson. 

"Ready?" 

So how was that? I just planned everything out in this book, so I'm going to be writing a few chapters tonight so I can get them out since they are fresh in my head. Hope you enjoyed it! Peace out my Stars!