His Greatest Fear- Negan

Chapter Six

Chapter Six: Guess away.

"Sucks don't it? The moment you realize you don't know sh!t." - Negan

Lillianna's Point of View

"So Negan." I speak up as we continue walking through the woods, me being the little inner child found a little wagon to carry my bags and one of his. It was much better for my arms, plus I got to feel like I did before all of this. When I was a kid I had a little blue wagon, damn loved that thing to death before derrek and his as$hole friends smashed it with a bunch of hammers. 'I was bored he said.'

"So Lillianna." He mocked me causing me to give him a playful glare. I had no idea what was getting into me. He was a scary and very large man, yet I was pulling a wagon and messing around with him- not like that. I admired the way he walked. He stood up straight, the bat over his right shoulder, not straining his arms. I wonder if she- it is heavy. It's not a she. It's a bat.

"What did you do before this?" I ask him, blowing some of the stray hairs out of my face. His face looking over to me in bewilderment.

"Huh?" He asked me, no longer holding Lucille on his shoulder but letting her swing gently down, next to his thighs.

"Before this. What did you do. You know. Work. Job. Hobbies-"

"I know what you meant." He cut me off, harsh but not to bad. I sucked in my breath waiting for him to continue. But he stayed quiet. I huffed and turned around, my back facing him once more as I quietly continue forward. He didn't need to ignore the question-

"Guess. " I take in his answer, suprised by his word.

"What?"

"I said guess. Or don't I really don't care." He tells me. I listen to the leaves crunching underneath our feet, before coming up with an answer.

"Well the way you carry yourself, strong willed, dominant. It had to be something that fit your personality- so I say police officer?"

He looks over at me, before he bursts out laughing. "Sorry babe, ain't into wearing that blue uniform." He says. I groan out in frustration. I'm clueless.

"Tell me then please." I whine out softly. He laughs before walking over to me. Oh God. He's really close to me now. He's like 5 inches away. Now 2. Oh my.

"Really wanna know?" He whispers in my ear. Oh god. This is hot. No- oh sh!t he's hot who am I kidding? I nod slowly as I feel his warm breathe on my ear. He steps back and I realize my eyes were shut when they snap open. Come back.

"Too bad." He snickers at me. Really. What the hell? "Maybe I'll tell you another time." He winks at me as he continues walking. I follow him, keeping my head low, but still acknoledging his path. But as I walk something catches my eye.

"Wait." Running over towards what I saw, I hear Negan run after me. He calls out my name and I shush him. When I get to the item, I pick it up gently in my hand. Oh no. It's so soft. The red color seeping into the cloth. The red blending into what was once a clean white shirt. I flip it over as I see the little logo of a star on the back. On the neck piece.

"We stopped for a shirt?" He asks me, obviously confused to why I'm on my knees, holding a muddy and bloody shirt in my hands.

"His shirt. He was wearing it when we left the house. Sometimes we would go out, me him and dad. They both had these nice white shirt, little star on the back." By the time I was done, I realized I was crying. I look up at Negan who stayed silent and was staring down at me and the shirt. "Is he dead?" I choke out.

"I don't know. I'm sorry, He could have had an accident, got hurt maybe. We will look around the area a little more okay?" He says as he holds his hand out for me. I nod as I take his hand.

"Let's go look a little more?"

~~

With every step we took I could feel my heart break a little more, holding on to the bloody shirt. I knew I looked like a pyscho with this bloody shirt in my hands, but I couldn't help it. What if this is all I have left of him? I could feel Negan watching me, as if he was afraid I was running off without him.

"Lilly, you alright? We are gonna find him." He tried to assure me. I tried to believe him. I did. But it was so hard, especially with this shirt in my hands. I felt my feet come to a hault when he grabbed my arm and turned me to face him. "I'm serious." He nods at me. "Give me the shirt Lillianna. Lets put it in the bag, alright?" I shook my head and kept walking, clutching it to my chest.

"No. Not till we find him." I tell him, more like choked out through my tears. God I'm a cry baby. As I continue walking I feel him grab me and shove me against a tree. I gasp at the sudden movement wondering what the f-ck he was doing.

"Get o-" he stopped my talking by slamming a hand over my mouth. He looks towards our left as my eyes follow where his gaze went. I realize there was at least seven dead freaks walking towards us. Luckily there attention didn't catch us yet, thanks to the trees in the way. He pulls his hand from my mouth, holding a finger to his lips, telling me to stay quiet. Three of them walked away from us, giving me sort of relief.

"Run or take 'em?" I whisper. He looks back at me, giving me his signature grin.

"Take 'em dolly." We drop our bags to the floor, as I pull out a knife. "I got them, you stay." he points at me as if I was a child. He holds lucille up as he starts to whistle towards them, gaining their attention. I watch as he takes the first swing, splattering the freaks blood everywhere. It falling to the floor as he hits the next one multiple times. I want to help him, but I've never even killed one before. I'd probably risk him his life. After he drops the next one he finally gets to the last one he lets out a sigh before taking Lucille and slamming her into it's head many times. I watched as Lucille was now covered in guts and brains, causing me to feel once again sick. But boy was Lucille amazing, an excellent and creative choice of weapon.

I felt a rush of relief overwhelm me but it didn't last long as I felt something grab me. I scream in horror as I see it's one of the dead. I fall back as it falls with me. I feel the knife drop from my fingertips and I push at him, trying to keep it's nasty teeth off of me. I keep yelling as I hold it by it's throat with one hand and reach for my knife. Where the hell is Negan?

My fingers were slidding over the handle of the knife, the struggle getting worse with every second. Finally I grab it and run it through the dead freaks head. Right through the eyes and forehead many... many times. The blood splattering over my face. I let out a small cry when I shove it off of me. As I look to see why Negan didn't save me. He was finishing off the others that showed up. He looked at me as he was walking towards me.

"Are you okay?" He asks. I shake my head no as I look at what now couldn't be recognized as what was once a man. The only thing I noticed was a small moth tatoo on the chest. Just like my brothers.

I point at the tatoo. "D-derrek, he had one." I cry out, holding my bloody hand to my face, trying to contain my sobs. "Moth t-tattoo, right there." My lungs hurt. I just stabbed my family in the head. Many. Many times. "I-I" I didn't even realize Negan had bent down next to me. Lucille set in the dirt as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders- trying to get me to stand.

"Hey-y I'm. Look sh!t dolly I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear. My legs feeling so weak. "It's gonna be oka-"

"Okay?" I yell. "He's dead, you can't even recognize him! I did that. This all my fault!" I slam my hand on his chest. He didn't let me go.

"You didn't do this. He was already gone." He told me. "We can take him back okay? You carry the bags and I'll take him to the trucks. We will cover him and bury him at home."

Home.... bury him. My family. He was so strong, how could I survive if he was able to go so quickly. He was so brave, and now he's gone. Because of me. "Y-you'd carry him all the w-way back-k for m-me?"

"Of course. I'd do this sh!t just for you." He gives me a small smile. For me.