the memory i have of you -

memory twenty

high school had flown by so quickly.

it was time for prom and soon after that summer break for the next year.

everything was centered around prom that week.

you were going to ask some one else, but she turned you down.

what that means is i turned you down.

i wanted you to go with someone you really wanted to go with.

so i turned you down that day, you frowned and shook your head confused as to why i didn't agree.

you promised that you really wanted to go with me but i didn't believe you.

we were just back on good terms,
and i didn't want to mess it up.

so you asked someone else and of course she said yes.

we went as a group to prom and it was fun, really.

you treated her with the utmost respect and politeness.

just like i had taught you
and i was proud of you.

you asked for one dance much to our dates displeasures.

it was a slow song and as we went out onto the dance floor you told me something else i would never forget.

"i will always love you no matter what and no matter where we are in life,"

i laughed a little

this time i believed you.

but things had changed, and we had dated other people. and you were leaving to spend your senior year in mississippi.

you were leaving me and love wasn't enough to cross the miles.

after graduation you would be going to the military and i would be going to college.

even though some things remained the same like the love i had for you, life would be different this time next year.

i'd spend my senior year with other people. i'd date someone else. i'd apply to out of state colleges. i'd start the rest of my life.

and you wouldn't be able to be there.

so even though you told me loved me i pushed it down once again.

at the end of the day the confession wasn't worth it in my mind.

and at the end of the day, id be alone eventually.

and i had to get used to that again.