the memory i have of you -

memory fourteen

sometimes i think this is the only negative memory i have of you.

all of my memories are usually good and sweet,
this one was not so much.

it was around mid november when i got asked out on a date by a cute classmate.

it was after homecoming. you went with a girl who asked you and i sat with a good group of friends.

you heard about the date from one of your friends and you went almost ballistic.

"kara, i don't think it's a good idea," you said while you were laying on your back.

we were in our old treehouse, the lights were twinkling and my books were piled in the corner. there were old crayon drawings we made that plastered the walls. an old shoebox rested on top of my stack of books. in the shoebox were receipts and tickets, old playbills and friendship bracelets. anything that made us think of each other was put in the box.

a collection of things, but more importantly, a collection of us.

"why not? he's a nice guy and he's cute. why shouldn't i go out with him?" i asked as i looked up from the book i was engrossed in.

this was the third conversation we had about the date and i was weary. i didn't want to hear what you thought anymore. and anyways the entire time you were out there dating i was practically a nun. i ignored feelings for other people because i wanted to be there for you in case you came back.

"he's just not right for you" you scoffed as you thew your baseball up in the air.

"and how do you know that?" i inquired as you caught the baseball inches from your face.

"i don't like it. i don't trust him"

i frowned. i was frustrated and irritated and i didn't want to have this conversation again. it always ended the same way.

"you don't have to like him, i do! and you might not trust him but i do, you're not going to decide for me who i should date and who i shouldn't axel," i closed my book and started to stand up.

your eyes flashed with anger, and you scrambled to get up from your spot on the floor.

"who's been protecting you all of these years? i do think i get a say in this. you're going to get hurt if you go out with him. i know things you don't, but if you want to act that way then fine! don't come running to me when he breaks your heart, because i'm trying to prevent that" you yelled.

you stormed out of the treehouse and that was the last i had heard from you for weeks.