the memory i have of you -

memory nine

eventually you broke up with hayley and dated someone else.

you would ask for advice from time to time. a text here, a call there.

and i would help you because i couldn't not help you. because even after everything, you held a special place in my heart. because you could date a million girls and still be asking me for advice.

and mostly because, at the very least you still throught about me. even if it was rare and sporadic.

i loved you and i wanted to help you. i had come to terms with my feelings in the time that you were away.

i would stay up at night and stare at my ceiling thinking about all of the previous memories. i would lay down with my headphones on, and think about all of the times you said you loved me. i would scroll back through our texts, re-listen to the songs you would send.

i would look at all of the evidence that i shoved to the side in our earlier years.

and then i would cry.

and boy, did the tears flow.

silently and easily.
just like my love for you.

i missed you.

i just wish you had missed me too.