the memory i have of you -

memory five

it was in the middle of sixth grade when you first stood up for me.

i'm asian, and as wonderful and beautiful as it could be, my identity was something i didn't want to think about. i pushed it away until it forced its ugly way into my life, in the form of mean kids and even meaner words.

there was a kid calling me names and asking mean questions about my race and ethnicity. asked me things about what or who i ate, and laughed the whole time. my mean responses weren't enough to discourage the boy and i grew tired of justifying why i was the way i was.

normally, i wouldn't have minded the confrontation. god only knew how many times this happened in the past. that day was already rough and being made fun of made things worse.

i won't ever forget the way you stepped in. you told him to shut up and when he didn't you punched him in the mouth.

you got sent to the principals office and told that you were going to be suspended. you came out of the office with a smile on your face despite the news you received.

and now it was my turn to explain what happened and why it occured in the first place.

i told the principal that i was being called names. i repeated some of the things that were said to me, "how come you go home and eat dog?" "why don't you get surgery for your eyes?" "why aren't you better at math?"

the principal settled for calling my mother to pick us up instead of suspending you. my mother was taking us for ice cream.

as we walked out of the school building my mom told you this, "thank you for protecting her it means a lot."

there were tears in her eyes that day and even though she pretended to hide it, you noticed. the same way you noticed there were tears in my eyes during the confrontation.

you always knew exactly what i was feeling even when i didn't. and for that i will forever be grateful.

you shrugged it off and said you always would protect me.

you hopped out of the car and started towards the ice cream shop. my mother dropped us off and went to park the car. you went right up to the ice cream lady and ordered vanilla. you turned to me and asked me what i wanted. when i couldn't make up my mind, you chose a flavor for me and told the attendant.

she smiled at you while she dipped our ice cream and handed both to you.
my mother came, ordered hers and we chose a table.

you handed me the ice cream and passed me a napkin because you knew i would probably make a mess.

as we chatted with my mom you tapped my knee with your finger. somewhere in our childhood you learned morse code and taught me some of it.

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i love you.