the memory i have of you -

memory twenty one

it was june first when you arrived at my house. your plane landed and my mom brought your  family from the airport.

we had already graduated and i was home finishing all of my college packing. your family was having dinner at mine that night. my dad was on the grill fixing burgers and my mom had pre-made the salad.

you waltzed into my room saying,

"come on kare up we go, out we go. we're going to the old park,"

"but i- but n- but i" i stuttered gesturing to all the things left unpacked cluttered in my room.

you just laughed and started packing things into my backpack.

i frowned but let it happen.
whenever you got a crazy idea to go somewhere i let it go because you would end up forcing me to go with you anyway.

and you would always win

always.

so you took my backpack and my hand
and we went to the old park where so memories were made.

we stepped into my car and you snatched my keys to drive.

the way there was bursting with excitement and another feeling. it was bittersweet.
this would be the last time for a while.

the sun was setting and it was at the point where it was just before all of the pretty colors would show up.

we sat in the car with the music up and watched the sunset as we sat in silence.

there was nothing that i could say or do. and you didn't offer to speak about your time in mississippi.

as soon as it was dark you started up the car and we drove in silence back to my house. i knew this would be the last dinner we would have. i wasn't sure when you would be going to the military.

i was already packed and ready to move into a dorm. i chose to move in early when you left. as much as i loved my other friends i wanted to step into the new stage of my life. i was tired of high school and i wanted a new experience.

i wanted to be in a new state, with new people and new surroundings.

i wanted to remake myself. and more importantly, i wanted to forget about my feelings for you.

college was my escape. i wouldn't have to see the same people who knew us, i wouldn't have to be confronted with the girls you dated.

i could finally be myself, kara, by myself.