Stay With Me « alren »

20

trigger warning

Ally's POV

I'm currently lying down in my bed, contemplating on what should i do next. It broke me when Simon was very acceptable about the fact that Camila is lying about being Lauren's girlfriend. Everybody knows, well except the fans, that i am Lauren's other half. I don't even know why he's tolerating this kind of bullshit.

Since i stormed off yesterday on the meeting, Dinah has been calling me non stop. And i reject her non stop too. I don't know what to feel anymore. I don't even know why Camila is doing this. She's my friend. I trusted her when she's being compassionate about taking care of Lauren when she's still in coma.

I need to know the truth. Why Camila is being like this. Why is she stealing the love of my life? She knows what i've been through without Lauren then she's acting like this?

I grabbed my phone and dialed Camila's number.

"Hello?" Camila answered in just 3 rings.

"Can we talk?"

"About what?" Camila said, obviously annoyed.

"Meet me in the starbucks in 10." I said then hung up. I won't talk to her through the phone. I need to talk to her in person. Because that is the only way i'll know if she is telling the truth.

;----------;

I arrived in Starbucks in just 5 minutes since it's just a few blocks away. I also ordered my coffee and now i am currently on my phone, still waiting for Camila to arrive.

I heard the chair in front of me being moved then saw Camila sitting in front of me.

"Please be quick, i have a date with Lauren." She said and i just looked at her.

"Why are you doing this?" I said and started to fight back the tears that are about to fall in my face.

"Do what?" Camila said as if she has no clue about what i am saying.

"STEALING MY GIRLFRIEND. WHY ARE YOU PRETENDING TO BE LAUREN'S GIRLFRIEND WHEN YOU KNOW IN YOUR GODDAMN MIND THAT SHE BELONGS TO ME!!" I slammed my hand on the table then stood up while huffing. I am so angry right now. The audacity to act as if she knows nothing pisses me off.

Camila just looked at me. Her arms crossed on her chest. I sat back down because people started to look our way and i don't want us to penetrate tabloids.

"She's mine now Ally. Get over it." She said.

"No, you stop pretending to be her girlfriend. She's mine Camila. The things we've been through can prove to you that she is for me." I said and was about to cry.

"THAT'S THE POINT ALLY!! She's been through a lot. She's been the worst since the day you both got separated! I don't want her to go through the same situation again! I like her! Damn, i love her! The day that she's been at her worst was the day i tried to be there for her! And i don't want her to get hurt again because of you! I don't want to see her everyday lying in the couch passed out because she drank with all her goddamn soul because of you!" Camila shouted at me and i looked at her. She's right. I hurt Lauren. In so many ways.

"I- I d-don't know w-what to say." I said and just bowed my head and cried silently. Lauren has been hurt so many time because of me. Emotionally and Physically. And i don't want her to go through this again. Maybe.. Maybe i should let Mila have her..

"Please take care of her." I said and stood up. I walked a few blocks and reached the hotel that i am staying. I rode the elevator then quickly walked inside my room when i got there. I slumped into my bed and cried there. I can't believe that i just let Lauren go.

I thought about Lauren's face. About how she makes me smile every single day. The way she kisses me on the forehead. The way she hold my hand. I know that it's been a long time since she did that, but i still feel it. And now, i'm letting her go and i don't know what to do.

I got up and walked towards the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my tear stained face.

"Why.." I asked myself.

"Why did you have to accept Troy's deal in the first place.." I asked with my head bowed down looking at the sink.

"WHY!!!!" I screamed at myself in the mirror and punched the mirror. It broke into tiny pieces and my knuckles bleed.

I opened the closet then saw the blade. I've been keeping a blade with me ever since Lauren was in a coma. I just didn't do it yet cause i don't want her to be upset. But now, whats the point. I can do it now.

I picked up the blade then sat on the floor with my knees up in my chest. I leaned my head forward and put my chin above my knee then started cutting on my left hand. I saw some blood dripping on the floor but i don't care anymore. All i want is to be gone. And to stop all these feelings. And the pain..

"Lauren." Cut.

"I." Cut.

"Am." Cut.

"So." Cut.

"Sorry." I cut my left hand a little bit deeper and in a matter of seconds, i was sitting on my own pool of blood. My sight is becoming a little bit blurry. I heard someone open the bathroom door and before i knew it, the blade was snatched out of my hand and i fell onto the floor crying.

"SMALLZ!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Dinah said then tried to sit me up.

"Ally, fucking talk to me." Dinah said while shaking me and i just looked at her then tears started to fall from my eyes. No sound of crying was coming out of my mouth. I just let my tears fall.

"Ally.." Dinah said then hugged me. Her clothes were stained by my blood. She got up immediately then took the first aid kit then came back to the bathroom and lifted me up then put me then laid me on the bed.

She walked on my left side where my injured wrist is then started cleaning up. She wrapped it with bandage while crying.

"Ally, y-you didn't have t-to do this." Dinah said.

"I have to. I don't want it here anymore." I said while tears are still coming out of my eyes.

"I thought once Lauren was awake, we'll be together. We'll be happy. But no, she forgot about me. Then Camila.. I.. I trusted her.. Then.." I couldn't finish my sentence. It's all too much for me. I just can't handle any emotional pain right now.

Dinah finished cleaning up my wrist. She kissed my hand then smiled at me. I just looked at her and faced the other side. I felt the bed move. I think Dinah stood up.

"Dinah.." I said.

"Yes ally?" Dinah said then sniffed.

"I give up.."

IM NOT CRYING, YOU'RE CRYING!! 😢😢