Teaching Nostalgia [Gumlee]

Chapter 19

I'm an idiot.
I'm a fucking idiot.

That was the worst 'it's not you, it's me' break up excuse ever! To be fair, it wasn't an excuse, it really is me that's the problem. But still! I bet Bubba hates me now. He probably thinks I'm a selfish prick that just used him... even though we didn't do anything but make-out, take ugly pictures of each other, and share memes. Still! He hates me now, I know it. I don't blame him, I hate me too.

I wanted to talk to Simone more, but I know Bubba is in there and I don't want to interrupt his time with her. She's probably sick of my shit too anyway. After I told her about what Flame and that Cameron kid did during lunch, I informed her of my plan to break it off with Bubbs. She was neutral about my decision, but thought it was best if I was serious about wanting to get my shit figured out. If you love something, let it go, she said, If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it was never meant to be. Cheesy, but true, I guess.

My classroom was dim as I sat at my desk, staring out one of the open windows. It's still weird to say that. 'My classroom.' How weird. Here I am, a depressed single fuck that just got bullied by some younger idiots, sitting in a classroom that shouldn't be mine, working as an illegal teacher. Life's pretty good.

I rubbed my forehead absentmindedly. What the fuck was that even about? I thought Flame and I were cool. I fucking trusted him with that shit, and then he goes and makes me look like an crybaby idiot in front of the whole school! I know for a fact Cameron set him up to do that because he would never disrespect me unless he had a good enough reason to. Or unless he just had some pent up hatred towards me and decided to let it all out with the assistance of Cam. Either way, his words still resonated in my head... He sounded so serious and mean. What a dick.

Cam's a dick too. Thinking he can push me around all the time as if he can get away with it... Which he can. Dick. And asshole. Dickhole.

What time is it even? I feel like I've been sitting in here for ages. I pulled my phone out and checked the time. Two minutes until last period. My class. Which means I'll have to confront both of my new exes. I sighed aloud and leaned back in my chair, propping my feet up on my desk. I don't even have anything planned for class, what am I supposed to do? Then again, when do I plan anything? We can just watch movies again like we have been for the past two weeks. That always seems to work. It's not like Simone comes down here to check on us ever. Whatever, I don't care anymore.

Fuck this job, fuck this school, fuck everyone in it, fuck me, fuck everything! I wish I could just cease to exist. Just vanish from this world and enter the void where nothing exists and nothing matters. If only.

The bell rang. Anxiety fluttered through my stomach at the sudden realization that I'd have to face Bubba and Flame. I took a deep breath, trying to calm the butterflies.

I put my feet back on the floor and waited to hear Fionna's excited rambling down the hallway. It never came, though. It was totally silent until they walked through the door cautiously. I slouched in my chair as someone flipped on the lights. I flinched at the new brightness.

"Baby, are you okay?" I heard Cake say. I turned to face my class, relieved to see that there were only four people standing before me. No Bubba. No Flame. "We saw what happened at lunch."

I sighed and sat up normally. "I'm fine, don't worry about me, guys." I tried to smile but I'm sure it wasn't very convincing.

"I swear I'm gonna beat him to a pulp when I get home," Phoebe announced, talking about her older brother. "He's gonna pay for what he did to you, Marshall Lee." She pointed a chipped, orange fingernail for emphasis. Fionna chimed in.

"And I'll help! No one messes with our friend like that."

I smiled and held up my hands. "No no, I don't want you to hurt him. I'll handle all of this myself, alright? I'm like an adult or something so, I'll figure it out." Sure Flame is a dick but I didn't want to see him get hurt. Fionna and Phoebe together could probably take him down and do some serious damage. I didn't want that to happen.