Teaching Nostalgia [Gumlee]

Chapter 21

I was awoken by something batting at my nose. My eyes blinked open and were met with big, round green ones. I jumped, scared of seeing my cat so close. Schwabble jerked back as well and meowed, rubbing against my bare chest. With a yawn I sat up in my bed, pushing my cat away.

"What day is it?" I mumbled to myself, looking around my dark room. What time is it? Shouldn't the sun be peeking through the curtains? Maybe it's being covered by clouds. Or an army of aliens coming to destroy our planet and end all of humanity. I hope it's the second one. I got up to check outside, tripping over dirty piles of clothes in the process. Pushing the dusty curtain aside, it was pitch black and stars could be seen through the thick trees. "Globdamnit, you dumb cat! The one night I'm actually having a nice, deep sleep, you just had to wake me up! And for what!?" I glared at Schwabble's reflective eyes through the shadows. She let out a meep and curled up in the spot where I was just sleeping. "You-! Hrrg! Brat!" She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

I covered my face with my hands, fighting the urge to scream in frustration. Lately I hadn't been getting very good sleep due to my own mind keeping me awake and/or waking me up repeatedly throughout the night. This was the one night in a while that I fell asleep at a good time and stayed asleep. But all thanks to my dumb kitty, that was ruined.

Knowing that I wouldn't be able to fall asleep again, I went downstairs, almost tripping in the process. I still didn't know what time it was but I didn't care. My living room was dark but I managed to blindly find the remote and turn on the TV. I plopped on the couch and swaddled myself in a blanket. After sleeping on this couch for almost a straight month when Bonnie was here, it almost felt more comfortable than my bed. (However, the kinks in my neck and back had said otherwise.) I flipped through the channels, not finding anything interesting except for those super long infomercials about vacuums. I guess this'll have to do for now.

I tried not to let my mind get the best of me but I couldn't help think about what would happen tomorrow... or rather, later today. (Whatever, time is an illusion.) After well over two years, I'd talk with my ex-girlfriend again. I was nervous, anxious, and a little bit excited? I hoped it wouldn't be too awkward. She was a very social person and always spoke the majority of any conversation so I shouldn't worry too much about that. What would we even talk about, though? I have so many questions.

I should stop worrying about this, everything is going to be fine! Probably.

The way she had been texting me lately was completely different from how she used to. She seemed excited and happy to see me again, even used emojis. It seemed like she really has changed. But what if this was just another one of her acts and she hasn't? Deep down I have a fear that she's just going to trick me into getting back together with her and use me again, but I was confident that wouldn't happen. She's obviously changed for the better.

But who knows, maybe we would get back together and end up living wonderful, happy lives with each other! With no thoughts of being gay or anything like that. Just two, normal, straight people, living normal, straight people lives. Because I'm not gay. Nope. Move over fellas, I only have eyes for that good ol vajeen. Totally...

Sometime over the next few hours I was able to fall back asleep and get some much needed rest. Once I woke back up, I still had no idea what time it was but at least the sun was out now. Some little kid's cartoon was playing on TV so I assumed it was pretty early still. I sat up with a yawn, mesmerized by the happy voice explaining the colors of the rainbow to me through catchy song. I was sitting there for a while, my mind completely numb of any thought or feeling whatsoever. It was a weird state to be in, and it had been a reoccurring thing lately. A state of numbness, of nothingness, of solid plain existence.