Jogini : A fight for honour

Chp 6:- Rejected And Humilated

Oh swami ! What should I do .....? My baby cannot be pulled into this .....I placed my room to and fro.

Anxiety gripped my heart and terror seized my mind. I could think of nothing except for a living hell for my child in this temple and with traditions.

"I'll go to amma, she will definitely understand me." I said to myself.

I felt a dawn of relief sweep through my aching heart.

With quickened steps I left the temple and to the house where I was born. It bought back all my childhood memories and I blinked the welling tears in my eyes.

I knocked at the door, with a heavy thumping heart. The door creaked as it was opened by amma.

"Amma!" I cried as I flew between her protective arms. It felt like bliss, my amma was the only one I loved the most. I knew she would be there for me.

"Amma, what nanna sent me for in the temple is just not nice amma.... I have ...I have ma....Managed to d...Do everything but I don't want my baby to suffer." I pleaded. "Amma, even your a mother you can understand ....Amma please..I want to stay here I don't ...."
"Oh kō alu (daughter-in-law)" Came a voice from inside the house. "Who is there ?"

A smile lit my face, it felt like in ages that I had not heard ammamma's voice.

"Ammamma!" I exclaimed hugging her "I'm so glad to see you."
"CHANDRMUKHI !" She yelled pushing me.

I fell to the floor on my haunch. Tears welled up and I began sniffing hard.

"HOW DARE YOU ENTER THIS HOUSE. THIS IS NOT YOUR KUTUMBAM ANYMORE."

Ammamma's words pierced me like a dagger, ripping my heart. I fell to her feet and joined my palms pleading....

"Ammamma, even you are an amma. You know what it means to put your child in difficulties. Why then do you wish that your great-grandchild fall into a hideous system of devdasi's?" I asked.

Ammamma backed off, taking a step behind. Her face was as hard and motionless as the rock's embedded in the mountain's.

"Chandramukhi, you are a jogini and the work of a jogini is to serve her swami as well as the men who come to her." Said ammamma.

"AMMAMMA, YOU ARE A MOTHER. YOU KNOW AND CAN UNDERSTAND MY PLIGHT. THEN WHY DO YOU TURN YOUR BACK AGAINST ME?"I screamed agitated.

"Bhutarya, throw this woman out of my house." Said ammamma.

I joined my palms begging my nanna to stop, but he just dragged me and threw me out of the house. The door slammed as I was on my haunches rolling in the dust of shame​.

I stared at the shut door with tears rolling down my swollen eye's. I stood myself up without any help. The passerby's just stopped, looked,taunted and left me alone. I gulped down the meal of disgrace I just faced and walked along the dusty lane. Eyes...just from everywhere were hovering around me. Those eyes I detest the most, those lips which curved to curse and swear if I was wrong.

Helplessly I wandered under the relentless heat of the ruthless sun.

"Oh swami ! Save me. Save my little girl." I pleaded looking up into the heaven's from where there came no reply.

I hung my head filled with shame, guilt and hatred mixed with the agony I was going through.

"Only the maharaj will understand my plea...." I shut my eyes hoping he would.

After all, my little baby was of royal blood. She was Kumar Subbaya's daughter. I prayed that he would accept his blood.

I reached the palace, walking under the scorching heat of the burning noon sun. I was dehydrated, dizzy and fatigue, yet for my baby's sake I had to move on...

Two guards crossed their spears as soon as they saw me.

Joining my palms I begged "Please, I need to see the king."

"Beggar's have no place in the palace." Replied one of the gate keeper.

"Even a beggar is the citizen of Aitareya Brahmana, and he has the right to plead in front of the king." I replied determined.

The gate keeper eyed me from feet to head and then down. I did not flinch nor potray myself as a coward, I stood with my head held high.

"I'll speak to king." Said the gate keeper reluctantly when he saw that I was firm about my decision.

I heard the guard tell the king that, there was a woman who wanted to meet him.

Then the loud voice of the king replied "Summon her inside."

The guard signalled and I walked straight into the great courtroom. My heart pounded and seized to beat as soon as my eyes travelled to Kumar Subbaya.

I turned my eyes to the king and bowed low.

"Why do you seek my presence ?" Asked the king.

"I need justice oh great king !" I implored with palms still joined.

"Speak." Ordered the king.

"Your majesty, I am a jogini from the Venkateshwara temple. During the Brhamahotsava, Kumar Subbayya had relation with me and now I am carrying his child."

"What proof do you have that the child even has my blood ?" Asked Kumar Subbayya with a smirk.

I stood silently.

Proof ? I have none .... I thought "Your majesty, I ...."

"You said that you are a devdasi," Began Rani Maalavi Devi "then, the child you are carrying can be anybody else's."

"Devi, won't I know whom I have had a relation with?" I asked "All I want is my daughter to have a better and respectful life."

"Go back to the temple from where you belong." Said the king.

My heart sank into the deepest of trenches. I had a ray of hope which was now invisible due to thick monsoon cloud's.

"I ....I can't maharaj. I just can't. If I go back they will make my daughter a devdasi. Please....." I pleaded falling to my knees in tears.
"You will not go back to the temple." Came a loud order from the left entrance of the court.

I turned and saw Maharani Pullamma Devi enter the court. Her aura filled the court with awe and a reverent silence filled the court. The infant in her arms was asleep and each step she took towards the royal pulpit made the courtiers bow their heads.

She sat on a throne beside the king's and spoke up "You shall stay here, and look after my child."

"But Devi, our child is the Yuvraja of Aitareya Brahmana. How can you employ a ..."

"No one will question my selection." She boomed "This is my final decision and it shall be followed. If anyone has a problem they are free to leave Aitareya Brahmana and never return again. My words are final and clear."

No one uttered a word. All stood silent with their heads low in submission.

"Thank you so much Devi." I cried in gratitude.

"Hmm." She nodded and left.

Will this be a new beginning for Chandramukhi? Will Maharani Pullamma Devi save her and her baby ? To know more, read more, vote more, comment more and share more..... Loads of love !!