Me & Mine

49. Boats Against The Current

It rains when I wake up. The skies are grey and solemn and the swift tapping of raindrops on my window keeps me company in the lonely palace of my mind. Through everything that happened the last few days there are demons tucking at my feet, devils playing the strings of my heart. It takes everything I have to force my toes to wiggle, to get my hands to lift me off my bed, to get my legs to carry my weight.

And somehow I get myself to school that morning. I go out of my way to ignore Amory, take my own car, and make sure not to sit anywhere near him or Harley during classes. Every minute that passes without Harley in my life crumbles my heart, but I made my bed. I'm doing this for her. She'll be better off without me.

At lunchtime Harley, Ann, Richie and Amory are at their usual spot again, where Harley first invited me to have lunch with them. Even Max, Travis and Kane have kicked out the kids that occupied their old spot in the farthest corner, and none of them look to happy to be back there. The table in the center of the canteen remains empty. I sigh and let my gaze travel across the faces of my fellow students. This constituency plan was actually meant to counter any reconciliation by Cammie, but I guess saving myself from social suicide is just as good enough reason. I target the three cheerleaders I want on my team and invite them to eat lunch with me. Reluctantly they all agree, and I'm not sure whether it is because they hate Cammie with such a fervor that anything else seems like a good option, or because my beaten up face makes me look like the kind of person you don't say no to.

One way or the other, the girls all sit down in front of me. Lola, with curling blonde hair, is the first one to speak. "I love your top," she smiles.

I smile back at her and straighten the dark grey oversized sweater I have on. It's nothing much, but I guess Lola is just being polite. "Thank you," I say sweetly.

"I saw you guys at my party the other night," I quickly say, before any of the other girls feels the need to strike up meaningless conversation to relieve the awkward tension.

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah!" A dark-haired girl with a petite frame smiled a flawlessly white smile. Julia, I believe.

"We had so much fun," she continued, "that was a really cool thing to do, Fay! I mean, who throws a party on a Monday?"

"Yes," the third girl, a brunette named Charlotte, chimed in, "and we all needed it, I think. I mean, everyone is so stressed with college prep and stuff, we could really use a party like that."

"And don't forget about those boys in suits!" Lola adds. I smirk. Yeah, that's exactly what I thought I saw when I noticed these three checking out the Priory boys at my party.

"Yeah, those boys clean up well," I say, "but that's the merit of private education, right?"

"Do you know them?" Charlotte chirps almost immediately. I roll my eyes playfully as if to say 'duh' and smile again.

"Of course I do! They were at my party, right? I met them at Sunday brunch at the club."

"The same club Cammie goes to?" Lola cocks an eyebrow and I shrug.

"Yeah," I say, "I was actually surprised she kept those boys to herself all this time. I mean, they're so fun and handsome!" And rich.

Lola exchanges a knowing look with her friends and sighs. "Well," she whispers, "it doesn't surprise us. Cammie always keeps the good things to herself."

"Yeah," Charlotte says, "anything to keep herself on top and others from rising."

Julia rolls her eyes and gasps. "Just like when Charlie tried out for head cheerleader, she just couldn't help but get her rich daddy involved in securing her position. Even though she can't cheer for shit."