If Only I Could Reach Your Hand..( A TomTord Fanfic )

Chapter 11 I like him.

Tord's POV
I sat in the swingset with Tom. I stared at the stars once again but with Tom twice. I really like how stars shine. I looked at Tom. I noticed him staring at me. He looked back and I chuckled.

"Am I really that handsome?" I asked while swinging.
"I-..uhm..uh." he responded while blushing.

I laughed at his reaction making him blush more.

"You're so cute.." I told him without realizing what I just said.

"Huh?" He looked at me with concern in his eyes. I can still see his blush.

"Oh i'm sorry it just slipped out.." We stayed quiet and kept watching the stars instead. Oh I almost forgot.

"Hey Tom."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for coming with me.. and for a while ago. Also sorry for just storming off like that."

"It's okay. I understand."

It became late to the point that Edd had to call us where we are. We started walking home. I was a bit dissapointed but its fine.

• Time skip •

We were finally home. Edd and Matt were at the couch watching something. While Tom and I went to the kitchen to eat something.

After we ate we all went to our rooms and said goodnight. I locked my room and headed to my diary. I got it under my pillow and started writing.

Dear diary, Feb. 4, 20XX

Welp, here I go again... Tonight I was able to be with Tom. I'm quite happy. I always feel something whenever i'm around him.. I don't know what is that feeling! Happiness? No it doesn't seem right.. Love..? I't can't be..

I can't fall in love with my nemesis! I know what I said a while ago. It's just a slight crush.. But. I just can't no. Just no. I can't love him.. i'm a leader.. a leader shouldn't love! Its just a slight crush..

..love really is complicated...

-Tord

I sighed and stopped writing.

Pathetic. You don't deserve love. You're just making an excuse of being a leader.

Maybe.. but I can still love anyone I want.

But you dont deserve them. They're better off without you.

Just shut up. Shut up shut up shut up.

Hah so avoiding destiny? No. They never loved you. No one did. They just pity you.

No... no please just shut up.

Why? Its because i'm right! THATS WHY! ACCEPT IT NOW.

No..please..stop it.

I realized i've been sobbing. I cried in my palms.

See? Can't you see. YOU PATHETIC CHILD. YOU'RE SUCH A DISGRACE AN ACCIDENT NO ONE EVER LIKED. PATHETIC FILTH.

PLEASE... JUST STOP!! I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

We're not even close to done. AND YOU'VE GIVEN UP ALREADY. HA

STOP STOP STOP STOP!!! PLEASE JUST STOP SHUT UP! SHUT UP PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SHUT UP JUST DONT PLEASE
STOP STOP STOP STOP!!! PLEASE SHUT UP! PLEASE
STOP STOP STOP!! PLEASE JUST STOP SHUT UP! SHUT UP PLEASE

Please..please.

"Hey.."

I looked at my side to see Tom. His checkered blanket with him. He put his blanket on top of me while comforting me. I just looked at him trying to comprehend what just happened. He looked at me with worry on his eyes.

I leaned my head on his shoulder and looked at him. I hope he's fine with it..

He just stared at the door open wide. I mumbled a few words before going to sleep. I hope he doesn't hear.

"I like you.."

Im so sorry for not updating yesterday. I thought we were just gonna stay at home. I was wrong we went swimming so yeah. I also dont know how to swim ;-; theres that. Anyway hope you enjoyed.