If Only I Could Reach Your Hand..( A TomTord Fanfic )

Chapter 20 Red

Tom's POV

I sigh, looking up at the sky. My hand somehow reached out for the moon. The moon was shining brightly as the blood on my hand drips. I should've went out for him but for some reason, I wanted to stay.

But I exactly knew why.

I didn't want to go to him while he was in a state like that. How I never knew. How stupid I was to not know why a cutter was there.

My eyes were still locked on the moon. It felt nice and calming. But the situation wasn't like that. I wonder though. I really do. Why did Tord become like this? What was his problem? What happened? All of this started when I dated Edd.

Then it must be because of us. Even Matt. I stomped the ground as frustration suddenly overwhelms me. I just wanted him to be happy.

And yet he's hurting but I don't know why. I really wished I had my alcohol now. All of this is hurting my head. I cried out as I decided to walk in circles to calm my mind. Looking at the ground, my hands were fiddling with each other to try and distract myself.

It didn't work. I notice blood on the ground. Slowly, I followed it. It seems Tord's cuts were leaking blood now.

Fuck.

It wasn't that much, just droplets of red splashed all over the gravel. If one were to ever see this, they'd probably think some kind of paint drip on the ground like a normal person. And if one's imagination was wild, they'd think the blood was an artist trying to paint the whole town red.

But I never liked red.

My eyes were so focused on the floor, I never realized that my feet had a mind of its own and started walking where the blood was heading.

Only my footsteps could be heard along with the sound of my heartbeat thumping. I squeezed my eyes in frustration as my hand wiped the sweat on my forehead, accidentally smearing the blood more.

Swish!

...

What the fuck was that...?

I looked around as trees towered above me. It was dark but I can somehow see the blood on the ground.

Though, something was off. The blood has stopped its trail but the path goes along the way. I debate on whether its best to go back home or go on and find Tord. The air was chilly as leaves flew by. The moon was looking down at me and yet not a single star was found. It was only the moon, alone.

I sighed again for the umpteenth time. I should really check that out.

I knitted my eyebrows before covering my face with my hands.

It's all my fault. Everything. If only I realized it. None of this would've happened. Just when we were getting along well together.

I crouched down as regret was overwhelming me. I looked down to my hands which were full of blood and tears. I realize this as I felt even more tears, begginning to blur my eyes. My mind is a mess as different thoughts and emotions run through.

I try to stop my tears from falling yet it only resulted to a sob.

Pathetic. Useless. Nobody.

It's been long since I've thought of this kinds o things.

Seconds, minutes, maybe hours have passed by when I've finally stopped crying. I wiped off my tears as I stood up again. I sigh quietly to myself.

"What am I going to do now?" I ask myself while looking at the moon yet it was no where to be found. The clouds must've covered it up.

I decided to go back to the house. I start walking back as the trees seem to loom over me everytime I see them. I feel chills and that's something coming from me.

"Ah. Where was that again?" I murmur as the path seemed to be endless. How far was I even walking?

I sigh again before I finally see the park. My eyes lit in joy and relief as I finally ran back to the house.

'I hope he's back home!' I think as other thought run through my mind.

'But what if he doesn't talk to me?'

'What if he'll just ignore me'

'What if he isn't even home?'

'What if-'

"ENOUGH!" I unconsciously shout as the door to home open.

"Tom! Where have you been?" I hear Edd's worried voice ask me as he runs to hug me.

I snapped into reality as apparently I've dragged my ass back home in no time. I see Matt on the couch as he waved at me and suddenly I remember what I was supposed to do.

"Edd, Matt. Has Tord come back home?"

Well, that came out a bit rushed and worried than I thought.

"Well yeah, he did. In fact. He just came back rushed as well and a bit... bloody."

Edd explains as he led me through the couch.

"I've been trying to get him out of his room but well, he hasn't come out yet." Edd further explains as I ran towards the stairs.

"Tom!"

I ignore Edd as my fists bang his door.

"OPEN UP COMMIE!" I scream on top of my lungs while seeing Matt and Edd come up.

"T-Tom stop!" Matt says as both boys try to pull my arms from the door.

"Tom! If Tord doesn't want to open up, he must have a good reason! So leave him be!" Edd says worriedly as concern fills his eyes.

"After everything that happened?! NO WAY SO OPEN UP TORD!" I scream yet again as emotions run through me. I feel my tears go down my cheeks.

"TORD OPEN UP!"

"OPEN UP YOU BASTARD!"

"OPEN UP! Please."

"Just please."

"I'm sorry. For everything."

"Say something!"

"Anything!"

"Please?"

I find myself sitting on the floor as the last word that come out of my mouth was... broken. Matt and Edd had given up as they could see. No. Understand that I was having this moment.

I jiggle the doorknob to see it open and I curse myself for being so dumb.

My eyes lit up as the door slowly opens to all the lights switched off. I quickly stand up to turn them open.

What I see next is.

Is.

Is.

Is..

Is...

Tord hanging from a rope as it slowly tears his flesh open. His neck is full of scratches and all I can hear is the quiet whistling sound it makes.

It's so sick.

Horrifying.

Yet, I couldn't take my eyes off it.

I slowly crawl towards it.

It.

This dead person who has made me hate and love him at the same time.

The same person who screams red because of what he wears.

The same person who has red all over him.

But I never liked red.