“Wilmer?” I run my hand through the side of the bed, where should be Wilmer, but it’s empty. I open my eyes, and I realize that I’m alone in the bed. Sadness is invading my body and soul, and all I want to do is cry. How could I be so stupid and believe that he would want to be with me after all, what I have done.
I turn around on the side, put a blanket over my head, and try not to think about what happened. I have to admit, the night was perfect, and I was almost sure that in the morning I will find him next to me. But now, I lay in large bed alone. The feeling is cursed.
I can no longer control myself and start to cry. Tears run my cheeks, like a stream. I don’t want to like without him. All that is needed, that I’d be really happy is he, and now I’m sure I will never be happy. He just proved me we will never be together. I will never have him.
I begin to sob, and don’t even try to control myself. I’m not okay. I used to say that I’m not afraid of loneliness, but only now I realize how weak I am without him. I will never find a man, who will take care of me like Wilmer did.
“Sweetie?”
Wonderful, now I hear his voice. I’m really insane.
“Demi? Babe?”
I hear the same shit again and I start to sob harder. Please, get it out of my head.
“Demetria”
This time the voice gets louder. I don’t want to be insane. Make this stop.
“Nena?” I feel someone touching me and I start scream. Who is it? “Demetria, calm down, It’s me.” I slowly turn to him, and breathe out. It’s Wilmer. I’m dreaming, right?
“Wilmer?” I ask and put my hand on his cheek. He looks so scared.
“I heard you crying. What happened?” His voice is so gentle. He wraps his hands around me, kisses on top of my head. I relax in his arms and let myself cry again. I can’t believe he was really here with me. But he is real because his body is warm, and his calm heartbeat calms me as well.
“I-I thought you l-left m-me” I say between sobs and hid my face in his chest. I can’t believe he’s still with me. He’s holding me, trying to calm me down. He always did that, when I wasn’t okay and he’s doing it again. Oh God, I missed this.
“You need to calm down. Yesterday I told you I will stay.” He says, and kisses on top of my head.
I stop crying, and smile. He is with me; I shouldn’t cry. I should smile and my smile wouldn’t be a fake one. Everything I needed to be happy is with me right now. The only thing I have to do is to try not to fuck everything up. But for me it’s a hard task, I always ruin everything.
“What are you thinking about? Wilmer’s soft voice cuts my thoughts. I look up at his face, and see a small smile playing on his lips. God, I want to kiss him. I want to spend my whole life in his arms. I want to wake up every morning and find him beside me. I do even want to have a baby with him.
“I love you.” I say it so suddenly, but the smile on his face tells me he likes it. I lean closer to his face, and peck the lips. As I want to pull back, Wilmer put his hand on the back of my head, not letting me move. It makes me really happy. I wrap my hands around his neck pulling him closer to me. Once I get into out make out session, he pulls away.
“I love you more, but now please get up, I’m prepared breakfast for you.” He stands up and stretches out his hand. I take it, and stand up. God, is it really happening? I still feel like in a dream, but it’s true.
We sit down and eat. Neither of us is talking. The smiles on our faces say it all: we are happy. I have to admit, it’s a very strange feeling. I doubt if I could live my whole life in such a dream. I suffered too much, but I don’t know how to live a normal life. I need the adrenaline.
“I missed breakfast with you.” Wilmer breaks our silence, making me smile. I don’t know what to say, so I keep smiling. Wilmer’s face changes, he becomes serious. “Demi, I don’t want our relationship be public. Each public relationships end badly, and it’s not what I want for us.” He states.
I nod my head, agreeing. It’s true. I also want to be with him all my life, no matter what I have to do.
-
“You’re kidding me.” Marissa screams into the phone, and I just laugh. Wilmer is sitting next to me, his hands are around my waist and we both giggle at Marissa’s reaction.
“No, Marissa. He’s right here. Wanna hear his voice?” I ask and giggle again. Marissa was the only one, who was with me in the most difficult moments. She saw me crying, sobbing and screaming, because Wilmer left me. I’m sure; she really wanted us to be together.
“Hi Ris.” Wilmer says into the phone, and the other thing we can hear is Marissa’s screams. She’s really a perfect friend.
“Oh my God” She finally calms down, but I can’t stop giggling. Once again, I feel like a child, but this feeling isn’t bad. I’m just happy, and I want to scream it to the whole world.
“Okay, I said everything what I wanted, I’ll call you later.” I say, and end the call. I’d be talking to her more, but here is Wilmer, who all the time kissed my neck, and didn’t let me concentrate. He knows what he’s doing.
“It’s unfair.” I whine, but he doesn’t let me to empathize in my favorite baby’s role. He lays me on the bed, and his lips are on my neck again. “I ask, and moan. God, it feels so good.
“No. We will live like normal people; we will have many kids, who won’t allow us to do it all day.” He says, and smiles. Before we broke up, we have never talked about children. We both were young, I was in a deep pit, so the children weren’t in our plans. But now, I’m back into my life, my love is with me, and the kids seem like a very possible thing.
“You want to have a baby?” I ask, smiling.
“I want but not now. I want to have all of you for myself, but after a few years, we will be able to think or even talk about it.”
“You are wonderful.”
“No. You are.”
When we start to kiss again, the call interrupts us. I groan, and he gives me a apologizing smile. He picks up the phone and frown, but still responds.
“Hi.” He says, and looks out of the window. Why is he suddenly changing? “What? You can’t be…” He doesn’t finish his sentence and look at me. I look at him confused and can’t help but feel fear. Something is not okay. “I’m coming.” He says and put his phone back on the bed.
“Wilmer, what’s wrong?” I ask, as I sit up.
“Demi…” He signs. He tries to smile but I know he’s lying. Something is wrong. “Babe…” He starts and takes a deep breath. “I was with one girl… and… She says she’s pregnant and I’m the father.”
