The Sun makes me wake up. I open my eyes slowly and run my hand through the side of the bed, where Wilmer should be. To my surprise it’s empty. I look around the room and there is no sign of him. Maybe he’s in the bathroom or in the kitchen?
I lean on my elbows and look around the room again. This time my eyes concentrate on a piece of paper which is laying on the bedside. I yawn, stretch and collapse on the bed, not caring about that stupid piece of paper. It’s probably not important. After a few minutes of silence, I decide to take that paper because seems like it’s explain, why I wake up alone.
‘It was a mistake. Sorry’
I read it over and over again until I’m sure I understand it right. The anger takes a hold of my emotions. Idiot. He’s the biggest idiot in the whole world. How could he leave me? Yesterday he said all cute things that he would love to have me back, and now he thinks it’s a mistake. I would understand if he was drunk yesterday, but he wasn’t. All he wanted was get in the same bed with me.
I jump out of the bed, quickly dress up and rush to my car. I don’t bother to put a make up on or fix my hair. I don’t even look at the mirror because I would break it. As I sit in the car I start taking deep breaths. I can’t drive like that. I don’t really understand what I’m doing. The only thing I know it’s I want to kill him.
My anger decreases a little and I start driving. I have never driven in speed like that before but for now I don’t care. It would be the best way, if I would die right now.
My car stops in front of Wilmer’s house and I immediately rush to his doors. Everything is happening so fast, I don’t even know how I got to his house without making an accident. I press the doorbell millions times until the woman finally opens the door. Her eyes widens as soon as she sees me.
“Is Wilmer at home?” I ask as I come in, although she didn’t invite me. I walk to the living room and the woman follows me. She stays quiet while I look around the room. It makes me more angry that she’s so calm. She should be hurt as much as I am because her man, husband, boyfriend or whatever he is to her, is sleeping with other woman.
“Yes… What are you doing here?” As soon as she says ‘yes’ I run up the stairs, hoping he would be there. I walk from room to room until I finally find him. He’s sitting on the floor and playing with Elisabeth. If I would see it in other situation, I would really happy that he’s spending his time with his daughter, but not this time. I should control myself because Elisabeth is here but I don’t really care anymore. She has a right to know that her dad is the biggest asshole.
“Idiot” I shout and slap Wilmer as hard as I can. He stands up and looks at me confused. Elisabeth starts crying but I’m too angry too care. “You are the biggest idiot in the world, you know? I continued shouting. I’m ready to slap him again but he grabs my hand and holds it tightly.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Wilmer shouts into my face, not letting me move. His shouts should scare me, but it don’t. It makes me angrier. How the hell he dares to shout on me after everything he have done to me?
“Do you think it’s okay to fuck me and leave?” I shout back. Wilmer’s eyes widens at my words as he holds my hands tighter because I’m trying to get rid of his grip.
“WHAT?” Wilmer’s girlfriend joins our shouting. Wilmer turns to her and tries to apologize but it’s too late because the woman is grabbing a crying Elisabeth and taking her to the car. Somehow Wilmer slaps me, but it doesn’t hurt, or it hurts but I’m too angry to care, and he runs after his girlfriend. I hear them shouting and Elisabeth crying. Fuck them all.
I collapse on the floor and curl up into a ball, crying. All my anger disappears as I start to shake. I feel like nothing, like the biggest shit in the world. I can’t do anything. I don’t even know why I come here. I don’t even know why I agreed to sleep with him yesterday. I could say ‘no’, and everything would be okay…
Suddenly Wilmer comes back to the room and he starts searching for something. “Do you understand that I probably lost my daughter?” He shouts on me but I cover my ears with my hands as I used to do when I was little. I can’t listen to him anymore, I need to stop this because I will go insane. “Fuck you” He says and leaves the room, shutting the door behind himself. I hear how he drives out of the yard and it makes me cry harder. I just ruined his life. I’m the biggest bitch in the world.
I stand up and try to calm down. I look around Elisabeth’s room and smile through my tears. The walls are pink, just like mine was when I was a kid. She has so many toys, I’m sure Wilmer spoils her. No matter what he’s doing, he’s the best father to his daughter.
I slowly walk out of the room. Everything around me is turning around, probably from panic attack I have just had. I press my back to the wall as I find my phone in my jeans and I pull it out, trying to find someone’s number. I can’t drive like that.
Somehow I manage to find Max’s number and call him. It takes a few moments until he picks up.
“Yes?”
“I’m at Wilmer’s house, take me home please” I say and start crying again.
“Are you okay, Demi?” He asks, worriedly.
“Just come here” I say and throw my phone to the wall. It breaks into millions pieces but I don’t care at all. It reminds me of my heart, which is broken into million pieces right now. I’m almost sure that I will never ever love someone again because after this I lost my faith in love.
. I start sobbing again as I walk to the stairs. I hold the handle tighter when everything starts turning around, but it doesn’t help at all and I falling down…
I’m gonna fall like, I don’t need saving
