Time has passed but nothing changed. I live my fucking lonely life while Wilmer is somewhere with his daughter. There is no news about him. He doesn’t even use twitter anymore. No tweets, no news. I don’t even know if he’s alive. With each passing day I slowly start losing my hope that someday I will see him or hear something about him. He is gone from our lives.
Like a few months ago, I’m sitting in the children playground and write. I have no idea why I come here every single day. Maybe because I love kids and I want to have kids but I don’t have a man, who could give me what I want. It’s hard to see your friends having a happy family while I’m all alone.
I look at the kids, playing there and suddenly there runs a girl, who reminds me of Elisabeth. I shake my head: it’s not Elisabeth. The girl is somewhere with Wilmer, she can’t be here. I’m going crazy.
I sigh and look back to my notebook. I have no idea for a new song. I look back to the playground and smile. Kids are the best thing in this world, and I don’t have it. Probably when I will find a right man, if I will ever find it, I will be too old to give birth, so yeah, children doesn’t fit into my future picture.
Suddenly someone sits beside me. I look up at that person, hoping it won’t be a crazy fan. My jaw drops as my eyes widens and my whole body starts to tremble. I shake my head, not believing my eyes. It can’t be true.
“Hi” The person says, not looking at me. I continue to shake my head. Finally, the person turns to me and sighs. “Hi, Demetria.”
“Wilmer?” I ask, still not believing my eyes. He sighs again and turns to the playground. There was Elisabeth. I was right. But does that mean that he is back? Oh my God. Somehow I wrap my hands around his neck tightly but he doesn’t do the same. The awkward feeling takes control, so I pull away. “Hi.”
We sit in silence. He looks at the children while I stare at him. I don’t even care if he thinks I’m crazy for acting like that. I thought I would never see him again and now he’s sitting in front of me. I can touch him and talk to him. I finally can say how sorry I am.
“I’m so sorry.” I say. My hands start to shake as the nightmare comes back to my head. Now he has to shout on me and leave me alone forever. I start taking deep breaths because after that day I have had a few panic attacks, which isn’t good for me. Wilmer doesn’t look at me, he doesn’t even move.
“Why are you sorry?” He asks me.
“It was my entire fault. Elisabeth’s mom would be here if I wouldn’t…” I rush out but Wilmer grabs my shaking hands and looks deep into my eyes. He knows me so well.
“It wasn’t our fault, okay?” He says seriously, staring into my eyes. His voice is so strong but I can see pain in his eyes. He’s lying. It is my fault. “Listen to me,” He cuts off my thoughts, “It wasn’t your fault, or mine. It was an accident and it’s not our fault. I don’t blame you.”
“You’re lying.” I whisper as the tears start running down my cheeks. Wilmer sighs and let go of my hand. I close my eyes but the feeling of his fingertips touching my cheeks, makes me open them again.
“I am not lying. I don’t blame you. I understand how you felt. I made you believe that something could happen between us. I’m sorry for that but it’s in the past.” He turns back to the playing Elisabeth. “At first it was hard to see crying Elisabeth because she was crying every single night but now she’s getting better. We both are getting better. We will go through that.”
“I… I’m happy for you.” I say. It seems like the stone swept off my chest, when Wilmer said he doesn’t blame me. We sit in silence again but somehow my hand touches his. The shivers run through my body as my heart starts beat faster. Maybe it’s the right time to stop playing with our lives and finally be happy together. But at the same time I don’t want to rush anything. “Are you staying here?” I ask.
“Yes.” He says and faces me again. “I decided that there is no reason to run from the reality. I need to move on. My mom is going to live with us. She will take care of Elisabeth while I am working and everything will be okay again.”
“Can we…” I start but Wilmer cuts me off.
“No.” He says, looking away. “We tried so many times and nothing good came out of it. It’s over, Demi. You need to find someone who will love you, I will do the same.” He turns to me again. “It doesn’t mean that we can’t stay friends.”
“Friends aren’t enough.” I whisper as the tears start running down my cheeks. Wilmer wants to hug me but I pull away and stand up. “It’s not enough for me. I want you back, do you understand? I’m ready to do anything, I just want to be happy with you. Look at me, I didn’t manage to find someone during these years without you. I lost my hope.” I say as Wilmer stands up too.
“Listen, Demi” He starts, putting his hands on my shoulders. Suddenly he leans closer, okay, too closer and our lips touch. I wrap my hands around his neck and pull him even closer as I open my mouth and his tongue meets mine.
I don’t know why I kiss him back. He made clear we are over forever but now I’m kissing him like we are in relationship. I push these thoughts away and continue to kiss him.
A few minutes away we pull away gasping for air. Wilmer looks down and I do the same. There is standing Elisabeth, her little eyes is wide as she looks up at us. I blush as Wilmer kneels and looks at his daughter. I feel my cheeks getting warmer, God, I’m blushing.
“Elisabeth, do you remember Demi?” Wilmer asks and the girl nods her head.
“She killed my mom.” Elisabeth’s words breaks my heart but I try not to cry. Wilmer looks up at me and then turns back to Elisabeth. I stay here in silence. I take deep breaths trying not to break down.
“We should go.” He picks the girl up and walks out of the park leaving me alone. Once again, I’m alone.
