Let Me Know [ m.y.g ]

39

Walking down the same streets as she did when she was younger brought bitter-sweet nostalgia with every step she took.

A small smile graced her lips when little bits of her childhood memories replayed in her mind while she took careful steps over the small cracks that littered the pavement through the years.

It felt like some sort of diaphanous silk that glided against her skin, radiating with warmth and comfort through the tips of her fingers that flowed through her limbs and to the rest of her body.

Even the acrid smell of the canal that needed cleaning at least once every two weeks made her feel a slight bit of happiness.

These were the streets she spent her first 13 years of her life. Walking to school early in the morning while nibbling on her breakfast sandwich, and then small frivolous talk shared among peers while trotting down the street on the way home.

She remembered how she enjoyed looking up at the orangey-pinkish sky during the late afternoon in the several days she preferred to walk home with no one but the pleasant silence. Somehow, it brought a sense of serenity amidst the busy life of a student.

Who would've thought that that girl who enjoyed the smell of rain, but hated the scent of morning due in the grass early in the morning would be who she is now.

And it lead her to think, who would've thought that she would be running around these same streets looking for him.

But with every instance her hopes to get even just a glimpse of him--just so she could know if he was doing okay--were crushed tugged onto her heartstrings as they ached with every second she realizes the maybe obvious truth.

He left her.

As denial as she was, she knew it would be better to face the truth now than to prolong it even further. However, her steps grew quicker than the last showed how she felt otherwise.

Her heart started raising as she finally reached his home.

This was the first place where she had met him; aside from the fact that he had found her slumped against his car in the pouring rain.

That's when it hit her.

This is where everything started.

"Yoongi," her voice nearly wavered as soon as his name rolled off her tongue.

She was so used to saying that very name, however this time she didn't even realize how much she missed it, almost as if she wanted to say it over and over.

However, what felt like hours of knocking and calling out for him, she finally grew tired. Although she wanted to push harder in case he was just trying to push her away, she finally accepted the fact that he wasn't there.

She thought of taking this whole situation in a panoptic view of things; open her eyes and see that no matter how hard she tried to look for any sign of him, all her efforts end up futile. However, she would much rather believe a lie or a made up illusion than to sink into the hurtful truth.

Feeling like the universe wanted to make her feel even worse, the sun started to sink into the horizon as the moon began to take its place in the sky. The crisp breeze threaded through her short locks as she stood in the train station back to Seoul.

Although her hope was running thin, she still held onto it by a thread as she wrapped her arms around herself while planning on what to do next.

It had been 2 weeks since she had last heard from him. The night when he came, agitated and restless as he pulled her into his arms while uttering dozens of apologies. He had cold sweat running down his nape, breath erratic and shallow as he declared that he would do anything and everything to make things right.