Distraction

Chapter 22

Jackson
There was a time in my life when I thought that being married, having kids and being happy was all bullshit. Sure my parents were a great example of that but I always felt it was to good to be true. Especially after finding out that my biological parents were dead and started having nightmares of the night they died. For years I felt like I didn't deserve happiness then I met Danielle. For a moment I thought I could truly be happy and care about someone but that was all ruined with me being a terrible boyfriend and not being there for my suicidal girlfriend when she finally ended her life. I should've saw the signs and done more to help her but there wasn't much I could do because she refused to let me in. I was wrong for leaving her the way I did that day and it still bothers me to this day.

I blamed myself for both my parents and Danielle's deaths because I everyone I loved seemed to die. I was in a dark place for awhile pushing away family and friends isolating myself because I felt like I didn't deserve to be happy. That was until I met Savannah, the moment I saw her when I first moved in I knew there was something special about her. Her smile was contagious and I could tell she had a big heart, not to mention she was sexy as hell. I'd heard all the fights and seen the looks of frustration she'd given Bryan throughout their relationship and only wished that I would get the chance to show her that she deserved better. I was shocked when I ran into her at the grocery store and glad that her and the ass had broken up. It pissed me off to see him flaunting someone else in front of her and seeing how hurt she was about it.

I wanted to pull her into a hug and tell her that she was much better than his new woman but I refrained when she told me she was fine. I was even more shocked when she came to my door asking for a distraction. I could see she was still hurt about seeing her ex but I wasn't going to be her rebound. I didn't realize it but I'd fallen for her already and wanted us to be more than fuck buddies. If she'd asked me a year ago I would have agreed no questions asked. Taking her on the date was the best decision I ever made, I wanted her to see how special she was to me and how beautiful she was inside and out.

And the sex, I could never get enough of making love to that woman. It's like her body was made especially for me and I knew all of her kinks just like she knew mine. Finding out she was pregnant was the greatest news I could ever receive, I was starting to see that I could be happy. Finally holding our daughter in my arms was the proudest moment in my life. I probably looked like a grinning idiot but my daughter was here looking at me with her mothers beautiful eyes. She was perfect and I wouldn't change anything about her.

Getting ready to take Lillian home from the hospital I was scared. Savannah was discharged before her because the doctor still wanted to keep an eye on Lily's breathing. The entire drive to the hospital I kept thinking, what if I turn out to be a terrible father? What if Savannah and I don't work out? What if I fuck things up like I always tend to do?

I didn't want to believe those thoughts I was having but I also knew that Savannah would never leave me or let me try to be a terrible father because she loves me and would kick my ass at any time I tried. She loves me enough to stick with me through the good and bad which is why I asked her to marry me. I never meant to propose to her at the hospital while she was in labor but I couldn't wait any longer and just wanted her to know that I wanted her to be by my side for the rest of my life.

After getting Lillian home and starting our own routine we talked and agreed that we didn't want a big wedding. We were both happy just being married to one another, so two months after Lilian was born and out of the hospital we went to the court house and had a small ceremony with Sariah and Trevor as our witnesses. Of course we told my parents and her dad and they were fine with our decision. My mom just wanted to plan a party so that everyone could see the baby and announce our marriage. Savannah's dad was a bit upset that he couldn't walk his daughter down the aisle but he understood how much Savannah hated weddings, especially with how the last one we went to ended.

Our honeymoon was a staycation, we spent time making love and relaxing around the house. Lilian stayed with us much to her godmothers dismay, Savannah wasn't ready to spend time away from her and I couldn't blame her. I loved spending time with my daughter and the guys at the shop loved to tease me that holding Lily softened my image. Lily was the sweetest baby and rarely cried unless she was hungry, needed a diaper change, or just wanted to see and be held by her daddy or mommy. She's favored me more, which made Savannah a little upset because she's the one that gave birth to her.

But I told her that eventually she'll get sick of me and be mommy's princess. It amazing to see how much she'd grown since she was born.  The doctor was concerned about her weight and breathing and wanted to monitor her for a few days after she was born, which worried the both of us. Savannah blamed herself because she felt her stressing over everything caused our daughter to be born early. I told her that it wasn't her fault and sometimes our plans change and that our daughter was strong like her and will pull through.

And our little fighter did, she gained some weight and managed to keep it on, her breathing improved some but the doctor wanted her to have a nebulizer and use it every night before she falls asleep. At first I was the only one to give it to her because Savannah still felt guilty. But after some encouragement from me she started doing it as well.

Now sitting here watching Savannah rock our daughter to sleep I could see that being married, having children, and being happy was not bullshit. I'd finally found my true happiness and I wouldn't change it for the world.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Just wondering how I got so lucky to have a beautiful wife and gorgeous daughter in my life after all the shit I've done and been through."

"Everyone deserve happiness no matter what they've done or been through. It may take sometime for them to find it but eventually they do."

"I'm glad I found it with you."

"I'm glad you did to."