Distraction

Chapter 19

Savannah

After our heart to heart Janice and I talked some more before Jackson finally came home. I was still in the nursery but sitting looking at one of the many baby books we'd bought to read to the baby when Jackson walked in closing the door behind him.

He sat on the floor in front of me for awhile just studying my face before I broke the silence and said something.
"I called my lawyer and he told me that Travis is being sent back to jail because he violated his parole by harassing me."

"That's good to hear babe."

"Why didn't you tell me about Danielle?" As much as I didn't want the whole Danielle thing to bother me it did. I understood that what happened was in the past but I needed to hear the entire story to understand why he ignored telling me. In the back of my mind I could hear my mother saying he would end up treating me like Travis. And as much as I wanted to prove her wrong, keeping this from me had me questioning if she was right.

I hoped that him telling me the story of what happened would suppress those thoughts and beliefs because I really did love Jackson and would hate for this to cause more problems in our relationship.

"I was ashamed and didn't want you to think I was that same guy, especially after what you told me what Travis did."

"You still should've been honest with me."

"I know and I regret not telling you sooner."

"What happened between you two?"

"To be honest I don't know. I'd try and be a good boyfriend but that just didn't seem like it was enough for her. So eventually I stopped trying, I went out with the guys more and barley spent time with her any more. There's only so much you can do when the other person doesn't want your help. It was our anniversary and I wanted to surprise her with a nice breakfast and spend the day with her. When I got to her apartment she was shocked that I even remembered and kept trying to pick a fight with me.

I gave in and we had one of the nastiest fights we'd ever had. I left and went somewhere to give each of us time to cool off. I wanted to salvage what was left of our anniversary weekend and went back to her apartment to try and make things right between us. But I was to late, I walked in and knew that something wasn't right. I went in her room and saw that she'd been writing in her journal and then saw bathroom light still on. I'll never forget seeing her there, lifeless. I kept thinking about our argument and never getting the chance to tell her how sorry I was and that I loved her."

"She knows that you loved her because you made an effort to make things right. I can't judge you off of your past because I see that you are not that same guy. Sure I'm mad that you didn't tell me sooner but I never once thought that you were anything like Travis."

"You may not think that way but I do. What if one day I start turning into that guy again? I ignored my girlfriend because I didn't want to argue with her anymore, what will I do if you develop postpartum depression?"

"You're going to work with me because you love me and would never abandon me or our daughter." Even though he felt that he could turn into that person again I didn't because I could see how hard he was trying not to.

"How are you not second guessing me right now?" Jackson asked still not realizing how much I actually trusted him.

"I see the effort you are putting in on trying not to repeat those actions and every time I look in your eyes I can see how honest and sincere you are. You're not him anymore and you're aren't like Travis, if you were you'd still be beating yourself over Danielle's death. By grieving and coming to terms with what happened you grew into the man that I love." I said looking deep in his eyes so he could see how serious I was being. After a moment of silence from both of us Jackson finally smiled and stood up to give me a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you to and happy birthday. Promise me from now on we will be completely honest with each other and work through our issues." I said looking at the clock, realizing that we'd been talking for a few hours without anyone coming to look for us.

"I promise, thank you."

"How the hell did we manage to sit in here and not get interrupted?"

"I have no idea. When I got home my mom told me that I needed to talk to you and smacked me in the back of the head then your sister hit me in the arm."

"That had to hurt." I said laughing at him when he started to rub his arm.

"It's not funny your sister hits like a dude."

"Guess who taught her that." I looked at him smirking

"I'm never getting in a fight with you."

"Smart man."

"I love how we can go from having a serious conversation to just joking in a matter of minutes."

"We both don't like to hold on to grudges so joking helps us move on."

"Nah were just weird, come on we should go to bed. You look like your about to pass out any second." I nodded my head in agreement getting hit with the urge to fall asleep.

"You know me so well. Just give me a second, I've been cramping since I got home earlier." I told Jackson as he got up to help me out the rocker I'd been sitting in.

"Do they hurt?" he asked placing his hand on my stomach

"Not really but it's probably from the stress or Braxton hicks contractions."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine Jackson."

"Okay." He hesitated but let it go. We made it to our room and got ready for bed, I kept trying to get comfortable but couldn't because the cramps were becoming to painful for me to relax and fall asleep. 

"Jack."

"What's up babe."

"The cramps have gotten worst."

"I think we need to go to the hospital."

"You think there's something wrong with the baby?"

"No but we better be safe than sorry, alright." I nodded and sat up in bed. Jackson helped me put on my shoes before helping me out of bed and downstairs to the car. Before we left we wrote a note letting everyone know where we were. The ride to the hospital was quite for the most part.  Once we got there we were directed to the maternity wing and admitted into a room. After answering questions and getting an ultrasound the doctor finally told us what was going on.

"From the looks of things you're in labor, your blood pressure is a bit high and it may be best to deliver the baby now so that she won't go into distress. For right now we are going to try and lower your blood pressure and start you on some medicine so that doesn't happen. Do you guys have any questions?"

"If it does get lower, does that mean she's on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy."

"Yes and that's what we are aiming for but if that doesn't happen we'll start an IV to help develop the baby's lungs some more before delivering the baby." After checking the machines one more time the doctor left leaving us alone to process what she'd just told us.