summer of '17 • jenzie

14 ↝ fun & games

Mackenzie Ziegler
21 June 2017

•••

I shiver, trying to tell myself that I'm just cold rather that completely infatuated with the guy standing before me. It's a hard thing to do, trust me.

Johnny pats the space next to him on the log, and I scoop up the towel that's now sitting on the ground before joining him. Calm down, I tell my brain, as it's nighttime fantasies from previous years are coming true.

"How often do you run?" He questions me, and I bend down to pull the towel over us like a blanket. I still staying a rulers length away from him– not having the confidence to glue myself to his side like I want to.

I fiddle with the towel a little longer before coming up with my answer. "In winter I would run three days a week. In spring it became about five."

He whistles softly, trying to catch my gaze again. "That's determination." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
"Yeah." I say awkwardly after a while. Why am I so forced? I'm overthinking this... I think. Oh god, my brain needs to shut up!

"What about you; are you still playing basketball?" I manage to ask after a while, turning to face him. I try not to show how cold I am as he turns his head to look at the ocean.

Will there ever be a time where we look at each other in the eye?

"I am.... but to be honest the enjoyment isn't there anymore, you know? Like I'm only playing because I feel like I should, not because I want to?" He replies, and I nod my head, feeling my heart break for him. His whole summer used to revolve around basketball, and losing something you love is hard.

I know that feeling.

"I had no idea." I say, feeling even weirder and just getting this sense of dejà vu. How much we've changed over the years is shocking, and it's almost like we've grown together; we're completely the same, but different somehow.

"Coach wants me to look at it as a career. He says I'm good enough. But I just... how could I do something, daily, that I don't enjoy? Like... I don't even care if we win or lose anymore."

"Well that's changed. You used to be highly competitive." I scoff, laughing. He manages a smile, and the blessed moment comes where he looks into my eyes.

"That I did." He repeats.

I blush as I was watching him the whole time, and he searches my face as if looking for something. My heartbeat soars again.

How the hell does he do this to me?

My insides feel like jelly, whereas my outsides are freezing to death. I clench my fingers in an attempt to stop my teeth from chattering and look down, expecting him to look away.

A silence envelops us then, making me feel like all the air has being taken out of my lungs. After much deliberation, my eyes flit to his again; my mistake. His gaze never left the side of my face.

Can he hear my heart threatening to burst through my chest?

When I bite my lip, it seems to jolt us both back into reality. His eyes lose that amazed looking glaze, they become focused again. That must have been at least five minutes of intense and curious staring; and it's left me more breathless than any full on make out would.

"Shit." He curses, laughing slightly. "You must be freezing."

I smile back. What was he meaning by that? After sending a questioning look his way, he notices my confusion.

"You idiot." He smiles softly, holding an arm out. "Come closer."

Doing as he says, I shuffle closer and he does too. We bump together, and then start laughing. I smile, tucking my hair behind my ear and stretching the sleeves of my shirt so they go past my knuckles. I can feel the heat radiating off him, and, slowly and surely, I lean onto his shoulder.

It's a weird thing, because this used to be all I ever wanted. Johnny; like my future was set in stone. Now I know that he does like me, and I've liked him, for years, it's different. We're different.

We manage regain an easy conversation– on lighter topics this time. It's magical, because as we talk the time seems to melt away; seconds to minutes and all over again. The whole time I avoid looking at him, in fear of what might happen, so I stare at the ocean.

An hour must have passed before I noticed that the water had gotten so close without us realising that it's actually funny. I point this out, but he only laughs.

"Can we lie down here?" He then asks, and quietly at that.

"Sure." I reply, managing to keep the smile at bay. We lie down, and involuntary, our legs tangle together. My hair brushes against the sand, tangling into a mess under my head.

I start to say something, and halfway through my sentence he reaches out to brush a stray lock of hair off my face.

He's careful not to scare me, but when our fingers join and link together I lose the ability to say what I was about to say.

"Cat got your tongue?" He whispers, the ghost of a smile making it's way onto his features.

"No." I breathe, tucking my flaming cheeks into his chest.

How many times over the years have I been longing to do this? Lie in his arms, breathe in his scent... and it's all changed in a few hours.

He stops speaking as well, and my heartbeat rises as the silence gets louder.

"I can feel that through my shirt." He laughs. I'm surprised to find I'm not embarrassed.

"Shut up pretty boy; it's cold." I mumble into his chest, smiling at his stupid nickname.

By the time we're finished talking, the sky is beginning to lighten. When I first came, I was awake and so was the night; the skies were filled with gleaming stars that looked like glitter submerged in water. Now, as I'm lying half on the sand and half on Johnny, I'm tired.

"How are we going to sleep all day?" I ask, yawning.

"Pretend we're sick." He replies. I scoff at him, amused.

"It's summer."

"That doesn't mean we're immune." He reasons. I laugh, giving in.

"Okay. Sick it is."

"Come see me when you're awake?"

"Of course." I smile, and after he stands he holds a hand out to me.

We walk up the deck steps, silently through the house, and down to our rooms. Not wanting to wake Lauren or Maddie, I decide to crash in the spare room. I'm tempted to ask Johnny to stay with me, but if I do then that might look as if there's something more going on with us.

"Remember, you're sick." I say.

"Of course." He grins, mimicking me, before walking through to his room and shutting the door silently.

•••

[1188 words]

Wowza ;) big chapter! What are your thoughts? Remember to vote please x

*edited