overture | newsies imagines

ben cook [request] || focus on happy things

REQUEST FOR
MEADOW_ENESTAD
[BEN COOK]

I gripped the phone tightly in my hands, eyes cast towards the ceiling of the bathroom. The bottle sat teasingly on the counter, the cap off and a few pills strewn over the marble top. I shook my head and let a few more tears drift down my cheeks before wiping them with the sleeve of Ben's hoodie.

Ben.

I didn't want to bother him, but today was another bad day, and everything was making me even more upset. Before I knew what I was doing, the phone was ringing against my ear. He picked up within minutes, a grin clear on his face. "Hey, babe."

"H-he-hey," I stuttered, sniffling once again.

I could feel the smile fall as he bolted out, "What's wrong?"

"Everything," I sighed, my fingers traveling over the material of the shower curtain beside me. I leaned an elbow on the closed toilet seat and rested my head in my free hand. "I don't feel very good."

"Hey, hey, listen," Ben replied, "what did the doctor say? Focus on-"

"Happy things," I let out a nervous laugh, "my only happy thing is thousands of miles away."

"No, that's a lie. You know it is. Your parents live a car ride down the street, and they make you happy. You have friends in the sam building as you, a laptop at your fingertips for the ones far away. You have your piano, and your ukulele, and music. Music makes you very happy."

"Y-yea-yeah," the tears began falling once again, his voice no longer holding them back. These factors made me even more upset, because if I did follow through with the suicide thing, I would be leaving behind so many people who needed me. My mom, my dad, my best friend, my professors at college.

"I know this won't make you completely happy right away, but continue thinking about it all. I have an incoming call, but I'll get right back to you, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you."

"I love you, too," I sobbed.

I thought about it all. Starting with my parents. My mom and I shared sporadic shopping trips here and there, breathless laughs over the dumbest dances she came up with. My dad and I had a distant relationship, but we still loved each other sure as the sun fell. On top of that, if i left, my sister would be the only child. My sister. She taught me how to drive, how to be confident, how to get Ben to like me.

Ben. I hadn't even gone on about him. He was what made me happy, but as I mentioned, he was thousands of miles away. He loved me, too. He loved me no matter what. My good and bad days. My happy and sad moments. He was the main reason to stay. I know that should be my parents, but I knew Ben was worth more because I was in love with him.

I stood from the bathroom floor and wadded up toilet paper. After cleaning off my face, I threw the pills into the sink and poured water over them. It caused them to go soggy and useless, and I think I smiled for a moment.

I heard a knock on the bathroom door, and my sister peeked her head in. "Hey, sis," she carefully spoke, stepping towards.

"Hi," I whimpered. I stepped into her arms and allowed myself to be overcome with endless love.

[if you guys ever need to talk about anything at all, i am here for you.]